Stay With Me

Ch 2. The Bed

Or, can we define our relationship in terms that make sense, please!

An inanimate object had never had so much power. On their first night together in that bed, the pots and pans had seemed like a worthwhile deterrent to whatever cares and imaginings Feng He had running through his mind. They had served no purpose whatsoever except to decorate their bed when somehow he and Cheng Qing had found themselves sleeping on each other.

This time Feng He didn't even have the option of putting them out. So he lingered at the table working on an assignment due in three weeks when he could have just joined Cheng Qing in bed. Not that he was getting anything done.

He was so physically aware of the other man that he imagined he could hear his breath every time he sighed. Hear the rustle of his pyjamas and the beddings as they moved against each other and his skin; like they were mocking his desire to take their place and know exactly what Cheng Qing's skin felt like underneath the cover of the offending fabric.

"Are you going to spend the whole night at the table?" Cheng Qing asked indulgently from his perch against the headboard of their bed. His gaze meeting Feng He's over the small space that separated them and he winked suggestively when their eyes locked for a second causing Feng He to blush deeply.

Feng He looked back at his work but he wasn't really seeing it. "I just have to finish this..."

"You forget we have the same classes. I know there is nothing due for the next three weeks because of the break." Cheng Qing said softly.

"I just want to get a head start..."

"Are you avoiding me?" Cheng Qing finally asked interrupting Feng He's excuse. There was some amusement in his tone but when Feng He looked up all he saw his serious face staring back.

"Uhmm...no?"

"Is that a question?"

"No?"

"A He...please come to bed?"

Feng He had not expected the direct request. So simple and yet everything in him was screaming to do anything but. He wasn't even sure if he was afraid of his feelings or his imaginings of Cheng Qing's feelings for him. "Let me just..."

"Please."

There was nowhere to run. The part of him that wanted to stay was uselessly dormant right now. The only part he could hear in his head was the one telling him this was a bad idea. So even though he knew in his heart he wanted this, his feet dragged and he entered the bed so reluctantly that Cheng Qing actually had to grab him and pull him right into the centre of the bed.

Pressed up against his chest so that his warmth permeated their layers of clothes and made a mockery of Feng He's awareness of him up to that point. Everything was heightened a thousand fold. His breath. His desire. His confusion.

Feng He wanted to fight. But he also knew he had never been able to stand against Cheng Qing. Not that he really wanted to. Self-preservation and common sense demanded he keep a safe distance. Their current circumstances dictated he do what he can to bridge the gap. So even though he wanted to run away, he let Cheng Qing hold him.

"What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid." The squeak of his voice belying his quick denial.

"I know this is all new to you. And I know that you have your misgivings about it." Cheng Qing started softly his fingers rubbing small circles on Feng He's body. "I don't expect everything to change overnight but I do want you to give me a real chance. Will you do that?"