Total Knock Out / Book Two

Chapter Twenty: Loops

Stanford stared at Logan in the hazy light, thumb brushing against her cheekbone. It took everything in him not to slide his hand to the back of her neck and tug her down, to not press his lips against hers and give himself over fully to the fire burning slowly in his bones. He didn't want to take more than she was offering, it wouldn't be fair. Fair to her, to Rori, to himself.

He dropped his hand and let her go back to her exploration, closing his eyes and holding his body still as her lips slid back and forth across his chest. He had never had this, no tender touches and gentle words that wrapped him up in a cocoon of warmth. Even when he had tried in the past, they always demanded more. Harder. Faster. Make it hurt. And he had tried, wanted to get lost in a body that moved under his and was gone the next day; but it never worked. Never dulled the aching in his chest or silenced the loop of 'they won't love you' running through his head.

He took a deep breath when Logan's lips brushed against the ridges of his stomach, held it in his lungs when she slid her fingertips under the edge of his boxers and brushed them against the patchwork scars on his thigh. Almost jumped out of his skin when her lips pressed a small kiss to the tent in his boxers before moving down his legs.

"I think we need to stop now," Stanford whispered hoarsely, squeezing his eyes shut when Logan settled over his body; knees on either side of his hips and pressed against him tightly.

His eyes snapped back open when he felt her hands land on his chest, the soft light of the lamp outlining her body in a golden halo. Showing the blush high on her cheekbones and the stubborn set of her jaw.

"When will you realize that it's okay to be greedy? To want something soft that cushions the hard edges you've always known?" Logan asked quietly, reaching for his hands and putting them on her hips. Stopping his own heart would have been easier than stopping his thumbs from rubbing against her exposed skin, and she smiled down at him like she knew he was completely gone.

"I don't know what I'm doing. I've only ever been with Kyle, and we see how well that worked out. But I can give you this. A moment of peace. A place to rest. You just have to let me."

Stanford shook his head and rolled Logan off of him gently, fighting back a smile when she let out a quiet squeal in surprise. He moved his hand off of her hip and slid it against her cheek, brushing his thumb against her skin.

"You're the only real thing I can touch in this world, and I know that I'll break you just like everyone else. I can't risk losing that," Stanford said softly, images of broken bodies flashing through his mind. Faces of the women who had never stayed running on a loop.

Logan grabbed the hand on her face and tugged it down to her chest, pulling down the edge of her tank top enough that when she pressed his hand above her heart all he could feel was skin.

"This right here?" Logan whispered fiercely, pushing his hand closer to her chest and letting him feel her heart racing. Letting him feel that it was beating strong and sure. "This is home. You belong there, tucked in tight just like Rori. You aren't some kind of monster that's going to shatter it like glass, and the only way I know how to show you that is to love you."

It was like a white blinding light entered Stanford's head, eclipsing the faces of all the people he had hurt; had let down. He knew that he would probably hate himself later, but right now Logan was offering him the one thing he wanted most in the world and he pressed his lips against hers before he could go through all the ways that it was a bad idea.

Logan's hands settled against his chest and he could feel how badly they were shaking. It helped reel him in, to slow the movement of his lips against hers. Four years was a long time to be celibate and he didn't want to rush into things and make her more nervous than she already was.

He shivered when she raked her nails lightly down his chest and stomach, fingertips catching on the waistband of his boxers. He nipped at her bottom lip and moved the hand on her chest to her stomach so he could skip it under her tank top, fingers brushing against the skin of her stomach before settling over her breast.

Logan pulled back, lips slightly swollen, and Stanford's breath caught in his lungs when she tugged her shirt over her head; letting him look his fill. Goosebumps erupted over her skin when he leaned his head forward and trailed his lips over the curve of her breast, one hand coming up to roll a nipple between his fingers while he pulled the other into his mouth; drawing a gasp out of Logan.

She slid her hand under the edge of his boxers and wrapped her hand tentatively around his cock, sliding the skin up and down at a slow pace that was driving him crazy. He slid his hand down her body and under her pajama pants, fingers dipping inside to rub against her clit. Stanford heard the strangled moan she let out and pulled away from her breast, looking up to see her biting her lower lip with her eyes squeezed shut.

"Say the word and I'll leave. We can pretend like this never happened," Stanford whispered, and Logan's eyes flew open.

"I swear to God, if you leave I'll kill you," Logan gasped, hips moving against Stanford's hand. She tugged her own hand out of his boxers and lifted her hips off of the mattress, shoving her pajama pants and panties down her legs and kicking them off into the floor.

Stanford's heart skipped inside of his chest when he got a good look at her, laid out beside him like some kind of dream. She was perfect, all smooth skin and soft edges that he had been fantasizing about for the last two weeks.

He rolled onto his back when she pushed at his shoulder, hissing out a breath when she carefully tugged his cock through the slit in his boxers. He could feel how wet she was when she settled on top of him, straddled over his lap like before.

Logan reaches between their bodies and lined him up at her entrance, hips pressing down and then moving up a few times until the head of his cock worked its way inside of her. His fingers dig into her hips and he fought to keep from thrusting up, wanting her to set the pace. Neither one of them had had sex in so long that it was a wonder he didn't come from how tightly she was squeezing him once she had settled completely on his cock.

"I don't know," Logan gasped, muscles clenching around him," what to do. How to make it good for you." She pressed her hips down further, like she was trying to imprint the feeling of him inside her forever, and her fingers flexed against his chest; nails digging in.

Stanford squeezed her hips in his hands and tried to think of how to speak again, how to get his lungs working enough so he could help guide her. He hissed in a breath when she slid her hips up a few inches and then dropped down, complete and utter awe written all over her face. He urged her back up with his hands on her hips, until all that was left inside of her was the head of his cock, and thrusted up slowly when she began to sink down.

"Just like that, baby." Stanford groaned, flexing his fingers against her hips. "You can lean forward to go faster if you want."

Logan nodded her head and leaned her upper body forward, hands on the mattress above his shoulders and hair falling forward onto his chest. He urged her up and down a few times with his hands before she got the hang of it, squeezing around him every time she settled back down onto his cock.

He slid one hand away from her hip and onto her stomach, going lower until his thumb nudged against her clit. She tightened around him and went completely still when he brushed against a second time, her thighs shaking around him. His own orgasm hit him out of nowhere, from a combination of how she tightened around his cock and the look of complete bliss on her face.

Logan collapsed on top of his chest and Stanford kissed the top of her head, rolling so they were on their sides instead of pressed together and he could slip out of her without embarrassing her.

"I don't think I can feel my body anymore," Logan whispered, hand flailing between their bodies and Stanford grabbed onto it with a grin on his face. "I'm just a human sized puddle of jello."

"I don't think I could stand if you asked me to," Stanford admitted, moving his arm under Logan's head when she moved her body closer to his; throwing her own arm across his chest and snuggling in.

They laid in a comfortable silence until Logan's breathing evened out, his own eyes heavy with sleep. He had enough coherence left to him to pull the blanket over their bodies just in case Rori came sneaking in the room before he closed his eyes and drifted off, no endless loop running through his head; just peace that seemed to have settled deep into his bones.