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Chapter one (pt 2)

A/N: This chapter (timeline wise, I guess?) will take place at the same time as Erin's nightmare, so just imagine the two events/ chapters happening simultaneously ❤️

Billie's PoV:

"She doesn't want to see you." A nurse tells me harshly, preventing me from nearing the room as my family wait behind me.

"What? What are you talking about? Let me in!" I demand, trying to push past her when a strong hand lands on my shoulder. I look up to see Finneas' familiar face staring back at me, a cold and empty expression in his eyes.

"She hates you, Billie. She could've died because of you."

Tears warp my vision as I stare at my brother, my face crumbled in pain. "No, please. I need to see her. I didn't mean to get her hurt."

My parents stand just behind Finneas, not looking at me, but the disgust at what I've done is clear in their body language. They can't even look at me.

"This is all you're fault. You need to leave." My mom growls, tearing a sob from my lips.

In my state of desperation, I turn on my heels and run down the hall, away from their accusatory yells. I make it to her room, pausing with my hand wrapped out the handle. Taking a deep breath, I step inside, my eyes immediately catching hers.

Her face remains emotionless when I approach her bedside, and I miss her warm smile that always lights up her face when she seems me.

"Erin..." I croak, reaching for her but she pulls away from my touch.

"Who are you?" She asks blankly, and my entire world shatters around me.

Two people appear next to Erin's bed, opposite to where I'm standing, and I immediately recognize them as her parents.

"Leave. She doesn't want you here." They demand in unison, their stares cold and unforgiving.

"Please, Erin." I try again, not even sure what I was begging for at this point. I just needed something from her. Something to let me know she still loved me as much as I will always love her.

She stays silent, and I lose all composure.

"You can hate me all you want, you can never speak to me, never even look at me again. But please don't forget me. Please don't forget about us."

I blink, and everything changes.

Suddenly, I'm no longer at Erin's side. Instead I'm left near the door watching as she lies still in her bed, eyes closed, her parents sobbing either side of her.

"She's dead." A doctor announces, and Erin's parents turn to me, their faces full of rage and hurt.

"You killed her!" Erin's mother screams, "this is all your fault!"

"It's all your fault!"

It's all my fault.

I jerk awake with a sharp gasp, those four words still echoing in my head. My face is damp with fallen tears, my hair sticking to my forehead.

Roughly wiping at my face, I grow more and more frustrated at my dreams. It's like my own brain is fighting against me, determined to haunt me with things that could of easily have happened. Things that would've been my fault because I trusted the wrong person and let him near the one girl I couldn't live without.

In the light of day it was easy to let people convince me that what happened wasn't my fault, and that I never could've predicted Que would do something like that. And I believed their words. To an extent.

Poisoning doubt lingered in my head, coming to life at night when Erin wasn't awake to stop them.

My spiraling thoughts are halted by the sound of breathy gasps coming from the other side of the bed. Glancing over, I notice Erin tossing her head from side to side, her lips parted in distress and a crease between her brows.

A light sheen of sweat coated her body, and it pained me to see her like this. Reaching over to wake her, Erin's eyes snapped open and I immediately scooped up her into my arms, her face crumbling as she cries.

"Shh baby, It's okay. You're okay." I murmur, running my fingers through her tangle of curls, holding her close. She clings to me as she cries, and I can't help but feel the guilt from the events of my nightmare seep into my waking thoughts.

I brought Que into her life, and because of me she's haunted by memories that continue to eat her alive.

Pulling away, she gingerly cups my face in her hands and I see the ghost of her own nightmare lingering in her eyes, fear replacing the usual light.

We sit in silence, finding comfort in each other, and eventually she melts back against me, her breathing steadying as she calms down. I whisper words of comfort as I hold her close, her being awake doing more than enough to settle my own thoughts.

Every night it's the same, and I wake up each time terrified of the girl lying next to me. Paranoid of a day where morning comes and my nightmare has become a reality.

But when she's not here, it's worse. I can't help but think, even if only for a split second, that she's gone. Gone for good. And one way or another, it's always my fault that I'll never get to see her again. It sometimes sends me into such a panic that only seeing her can manage to bring me out of it.

"Why were you awake?" She mumbles, and a laugh rumbles in my chest at how sleepy she sounds, her words barely understandable.

I hated how tired she seems to be all the time, and could only blame the dreams that keep her up at night.

"Sleep, Erin. We can talk in the morning." I remind her, brushing a stray hair away from her face adoringly. Her brown curls were splayed out on the pillow behind her, looking darker than usual under my red lights.

"I want to make sure you're okay." She tries again, but I'm already shaking my head even though she can't see me.

She worries so much about me, but I know that opening up will only make things worse for her. I'm not the one that could've lost their life and was held at gunpoint. I can tru to deal with the fact that I almost lost her, but I can't be the reason she's hurting more than necessary.

"As long as you're next to me, I'm more than okay." I say truthfully, knowing that her presence is all the reassurance I need to forget about the things that haunt me at night.

Softly humming I Love You, I feel her relax against me and her even breaths as she finally drifts off.

Resting my head on top of hers, I let my thoughts wander. I could've lost the love of my life that day, but I didn't. And having her beside me is the only proof I need that everything worked out okay, despite what my subconscious continues to tell me.

So I know that whatever happens next, I'll be there for her. No matter what.