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Chapter seven

Present time

I wake up with a mild headache sometime in the early morning, and it only takes a few seconds for the events of last night to come rushing back to me.

Peeling myself off the couch, I immediately jump into the shower, trying to wash away the guilt I feel at my actions.

With a now clear head, it was easy to see how petty and childish I had been. If I want things to work, I need to be able to lay any arguments to rest, not storm off and make them worse.

But even as I struggled to focus on the simple task of washing my hair, I was finding it hard to regret my actions when I finally had a quiet mind for the first time in weeks. It was nice not to have to be constantly reminded of the things that continue to haunt my mind at night and even during the day.

Every decide that I would have to make, and how it would impact my life, seemed almost inconsequential. I didn't have to worry about the next step in life.

I could just be.

It was nice change of pace to just mess around with people I barely knew. People that didn't expect anything from me, and weren't just waiting around for me to mess up again.

I shut off the water with a heavy sigh, listening to the steady droplets of water hit the floor of the shower as they echo loudly in the empty space.

I knew Billie would be up soon, and that we definitely needed to talk about how we were going to move forward. That thought alone forced me to gather the courage to finally step out of the shower, shivering as the cold air hit my bare skin.

I dressed quickly in the bathroom after quietly grabbing some clothes from the bedroom, and tiptoed back to the kitchen.

What couldn't of been more than ten minutes later, I hear movements down the hallway as I stand leaning against the island, my back to the door.

Steeling myself for a possible shouting match that was soon to be headed my way, I focus my attention on the homey clutter littering the countertops and shelves, a wistful smile on my lips when I realize how much I missed this from the house I grew up in.

It was always pristine floors with scarcely decorated walls and rooms. Nothing was ever left out, and everything had its place. I never thought much of it at the time, it had always felt like just a house to me. But I'm only starting to realize now why it never really felt like a home.

Well, that and the shitty parents.

Bare footsteps padding closer pull me from old memories, and I turn at the last minute to see Billie standing across from me, a distraught look on her face. I wasn't sure what to expect when we saw each other again after last night, but I never thought the first thing she would do is run into my arms.

Happily accepting her into my embrace, she sinks into my arms. I hold her against me just as tightly, feeling her cling to her own sweater that I had on, after accidentally throwing it on without thinking.

"I'm so sorry, baby," I murmur into her hair, my hands running up and down her back, trying to comfort her. My guilt for leaving increases tenfold at the state she's in, but I push it aside.

I'm here now. That's what matters.

"You don't need to apologize," Billie sighs eventually as she pulls away from me, her arms remaining around my waist, "we were both at fault."

She takes a deep breathe, and I watch as she fixes her gaze determinedly on mine as she tries to collect her thoughts. "I want you to go."

I look at her in surprise, not having expected this outcome from her so quickly. Billie was one of the most stubborn people I know, and to just let me have my way like this was never how I thought this conversation would go.

"Really?" I don't bother to hide the wariness in my tone, and she smirks a little at my obvious surprise.

"Yeah, really. Whatever you want, wherever you want. This is your life babygirl, and I don't want to be another person that tells you how to live it."

I stare at the incredible girl in front me, finding it hard to believe that she was real, and that she was mine. I knew this adjustment was going to be hard for her, but she was so ready to face it head on to try and make me happy.

"Thank you," I say earnestly, at a complete loss for words. Leaning forward I press her lips to mine, and I can feel her smile into the kiss before she deepens it, knotting her fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck.

We pull away breathlessly after a few seconds, and butterflies fill my stomach at the sight of her with messy hair and an adoring look in her eyes as she stares at me.

"Where do you say it was?" Billie asks softly, after a moment of silence. My mood drops for a split second, even though I knew the question was coming. I had to tell tell eventually, but I almost don't want to answer, knowing how hard it's going to be for her to hear.

"Ohio."

She inhales sharply as I say it, but quickly tries to school her expression into a smile. Failing miserably at hiding her real feelings about the location of the college, instead she asks, "will this make you happy?"

I nod, even though doubt flickers in my mind for a spilt second, but I refuse to acknowledge it.

This is what's best for me.

A/N: hello! I hope everyone's quarantine is going well 🥰

The writer's block is real right now, but please bare with me, I'm gonna start trying harder to get more chapters out. This one in particular was meant to be up a lot sooner, but my dog kept blocking my screen so that I would pay attention to her lmao

Thanks for reading!

Isabel 💕