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Chapter eight

The growing tension between Billie and I had quickly disappeared overnight. I was definitely happy to be getting our relationship back on the right track, but I couldn't help but wonder if it was only because my plans to move away had been finalized.

The unnatural shift back to our normal routine unsettled me, and as much as I wanted things to go back to the way we were only a few short weeks ago, I still couldn't escape the feeling that I was going about it the wrong way.

We were going in the right direction, and even though it's not perfect, it's good enough for now. It has to be.

An old movie played on the sitting room TV as Billie and I lay alone on the sofa. I had lost interest in it some time ago, my mind drifting once again to my usual stresses. I wanted to be able to just enjoy my time with Billie, but it seemed almost impossible to drown out my thoughts.

My attention was brought back to the screen abruptly as Billie shook with laughter. An automatic smile lifted my lips at the sound of her voice mimicked the actors line, humour in her voice as she chuckled.

It was hard to imagine that soon I'd be giving up evenings like this with her, but it was comforting to think that it won't be forever.

Things will be better for everyone if I do this, and I can easily make up for lost time when I get back.

"Baby?"

The current scene freezes as the pause button is pressed, and Billie shifts slightly on the sofa to face me, her head no longer resting on my shoulder.

I could almost feel the unspoken words begin to pile up in her head as she stares at me desperately.

"Yeah?" I reply lamely, needing us to be okay with each for just a second longer.

"I don't want to argue with you, Erin," She sighs, smiling humourlessly at the anxious look on my face, "I just wanted us to be able to act like everything isn't about to change for the last few weeks before you go. But not talking is just making everything worse, and I can't sit back and watch you slip away. Talk to me, please. Stop torturing yourself."

The pleading look on her face is enough to make the guilt in my chest increase tenfold. I knew that leaving was hurting her, but I didn't think trying to keep my own pain to myself was doing it as well.

"If we want this to work we need to be able to talk to each other." She adds quietly, not looking me in the eye.

"When did you become so mature?" I tease, giving her hand a gentle squeeze, trying to bring the smile back onto her face.

"I'm not torturing myself, Billie," I assure her when she doesn't respond to my attempt at lightening the mood, "I just know I'm going to miss you so much," I add, pulling her back into my arms and resting my chin on her shoulder.

My words finally seem to put her at ease as I try and open up to her, and I can hear the smile in her words as she says, "I'm gonna miss you too."

"But I'll be back for holidays, and you can come up and visit me. We'll make it work, baby. Don't worry." I say, trying to comfort her.

"I'm not worried." Billie replies confidently, and I raise an eyebrow at her abrupt change in tone.

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"'Cause I know that no matter how long we're apart for, I got you forever."

Her words pull a surprised laugh from my lips, and I hug her that much tighter to me as I reach around and place a kiss on her cheek, "That's right. All yours."

"And besides," Billie continues, holding onto my hands as they rest on her stomach, "we were gonna have to wait a few years anyway before we start having kids."

"Oh really? How many are we gonna have?" I ask her, amused by already clearly formed plans of our future together.

"Five." Billie answers simply, making my eyes widen.

"Five? These better be coming outta you."

"Shut up, and we're gonna live in the country with a massive garden so our kids have room to play. With dogs and cats, and horses, and whatever animals we can think off, and a massive wrap around porch with a swing, where we can spend our evenings together."

"That sounds perfect." I tell her, choking up slightly, completely lost for words and left longing for a future I can't wait to have with her.

"Come home soon, okay?" Billie says after a while, and even though we both know it won't make any difference, I still nod my head and promise, "I will," because a world without Billie, not matter how temporary, will be a hard one to live in, and I want to pretend I don't have to for as long as possible before reality sinks in and reminds me of the truth.

A/N: I'm not sure if you guys want a warning or not so I'll just say it anyway; if all goes to plan there's only gonna be 4, maybe 5 more chapters after this one.

Hope you guys enjoyed reading and HAPPY PRIDE!!! 🏳️‍🌈❤️🏳️‍🌈❤️🏳️‍🌈

Much love, Isabel 💕