Harry
When I watched Emily walk away, I realised I'd fucked up bad. I was aware she was on the verge of tears and I was aware she hated the fact that she was. She hated the fact that I'd messed everything up. She hated me.
And she should hate me. I hate me.
I hate myself for not going after her. Instead I ended up telling Amanda she had to leave and I stayed exactly where I was.
I hate myself for being the one who made her feel like she did. I was supposed to be the one that holds her in my arms, calming her down. I was supposed to be the one that makes her laugh and smile because I know she needs it most now. I'm not supposed to be the one that caused her to feel the way she's feeling. And yet I was.
I'd gotten a call from Niall that day where I received a hell of a lot of yelling. He said Molly told him what happened and that she's livid with me. He said that I shouldn't have done what I did. I was expecting him to be talking about Amanda and I was going to tell him that I didn't end up finishing anything with her, but he wasn't talking about her. He said I shouldn't have kissed Emily. That I shouldn't have kissed her if I was just going to go and fuck a girl behind her back. And that's what pushed me over the edge.
I hung up his call and once again got a taxi to the pub.
I got there and consumed shot after shot and drink after drink, until eventually I was wasted. But this time I didn't bring anyone home with me. I couldn't. Because every single time a girl came over to me that night, the only thing stopping me was Emily. But it wasn't her happy self that flashed in my head like always, instead it was the look on her face when I hurt her.
And so I hate myself. I hate myself for fucking everything up and I hate myself for kissing her. Because if I didn't kiss her I wouldn't have been the one to hurt her and she would still be here. And yet all I wanted to do was kiss her again. And I don't know why or how but for some god damn reason, I know that our kiss meant much more then what it should have.
I don't know if I like this chapter much but you needed to know how Harry's feeling for this story to work out.
What do you think will happen next?
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Love Doesn't Exist || H.S
FanfictionBOOK 1: She was a twenty one year old, trying to live her dream of managing a café. He was a member of the world famous boy band who didn't believe love existed... until he met her.
