Unravelling

Chapter 58 - Gifts

This is so awkward.

Alex has led me up the stairs and straight to his room. All the way there, he has never taken his hand off my shoulder, almost as if he anticipates that I will try to make a run for it.

As if. There is nowhere I could possibly run to where I would not be discovered within minutes. Also, I don't want to make things worse for myself by acting like a child by trying to avoid my punishment.

"Why don't you take a seat on the bed?" Alex asks gently once we have stepped inside his room.

He gestures towards his neatly made bed and I wordlessly follow his instructions. As I perch on the edge of it, he closes the door behind him and then walks over to his desk. Alex grabs his desk chair and drags it a bit closer to where I am sitting. The room is pretty small so there really isn't much space for him to navigate in.

Once he is satisfied with the position of his chair, he sits down on it, placing his elbows on his thighs. When he leans forward, his face is barely a foot from mine and I automatically shuffle a bit further back onto his bed. The right corner of his mouth lifts slightly and he looks a bit amused. I don't know what I did that he finds so entertaining, so his reaction confuses me a bit.

"What?" I press out when he just looks at me without speaking for what feels like an eternity.

I wish he would just stop acting weird and get on with it. There is nothing worse than waiting for someone to tell you what your punishment is going to be. I never knew Alex to be the kind of person to enjoy watching us squirm.

"You didn't want Sean to come with you?" he asks.

"N-no?" I stammer, bewildered by where he is going with that.

"I'm glad."

Huh?

My expression must have given away my confusion, because he graces me with a soft smile. Definitely not the reaction I have been expecting.

"I am glad that you didn't think you'd need backup, meaning I am glad that you're not afraid to have this chat with me alone," he clarifies.

"I'm not afraid of you, Alex," I blurt out before I can stop myself.

I have no idea why I felt the need to say this and whether this is what he was aiming to hear from me. It takes a lot for me not to avert my eyes, worried that this was the wrong thing to say.

"I certainly hope not, because there's nothing to be afraid of, Lily. But I am glad you confirmed that, because the last thing I want is to scare you. I know I can be a bit intimidating at times, but I never want to give you or your brothers any reason to fear me, okay?"

His voice is soft and comforting when he says that, but I also think I detect a tiny bit of worry in its tone. My heart aches when I realize the Alex might falsely have assumed that my reluctance to speak with him could have anything to do with me being afraid of him. Sure, I am apprehensive of what kind of consequences they have come up with. But I would never feel unsafe around him.

"I know," I tell him quietly. "And I am sorry, Alex, I really am."

"What are you sorry for?"

He is not going to make this easy for me, is he?

"I am sorry for what I have done. For everything. For running away. For not telling you where I am. For worrying you and for making you search for me. I am sorry for putting you and the guys through all that stuff. I didn't know and if I had known, I would have never done it!" I exclaim.

"You didn't know what?"

"I didn't know that Sienna was missing for days before she...well, before you found out what happened to her. I feel like the worst person on this planet for doing this to you guys! I promise, if I had known about this, I would have never run away, Alex. Please, I need you to believe me!"