Hate Me

Indifferent😑;....

Finally, it's prom week. My mom had traveled to Lagos a few weeks ago to meet my dad. I took permission from them for the prom and they surprisingly agreed to let me go. I of course left out the part that it's an all night event. Lol.

It finally is the big night. Prom night. I got my hair done, Dina made me do make-up! And I wore heels. Well, Dina turned out to be a makeover goddess.

Silvy and I arrive at school an hour after the red carpet. We first encounter Victor and a few classmates at the entrance. The expression on Victor's faces is priceless. I so badly want to take a picture of it and frame it in my bedroom.

He looks at me from head to toe and I deliberately standstill to let him take a good look. Silvy and I had our dresses and heels in our backpacks cause we got to school on commercial bikes( okadas). Hence we wore trousers to school in a dib to change them once we get there. I toped my trouser and canvas with a crop top.

Victor has never seen me dressed like this before neither has he seen me in makeup. This moment sure is going to be memorable. I can only imagine what his face would look like once he sees me in my dress.

Silvy and I change into our dresses and head up to the hall where we meet Dina in her glorious beauty. Moses cheated himself by not attending this prom with her! She had her full afro done into one huge and beautiful puffball, her long dress has a slit on the side revealing a fair amount of her thigh and her makeup is spot on!

The program begins and I keep waiting for Jeremy. Kalifa calls me aside to inform me that Jeremy won't become. The reason being, he embarked on a family trip!

"I'm sorry, Jeremy can't make it. "

"What? Why?" I ask as I believe he is joking.

"He is on an important family trip. " Kalifa informs seriously and I know he isn't joking.

"Why didn't he tell me? " I quiz in anger.

"He said if he told you, you won't come. He wanted you to represent you both. You know he paid 10k plus for this prom. " Kalifa informs and partly begs.

I simply look away in anger.
"He said I should take care of you though. So, I'm right here for you. " Kalifa informs.

I am annoyed, to say the least. I am boiling with anger. Why did he make me do all this if he wasn't going to show! Kalifa said he didn't tell me cause he wanted me to represent us both! How selfish!

I spend the rest of the night being the third wheel to Silvy and Kalifa.

I call my brother Simon to come to pick me up. I bid my friends farewell and I head home. Simon keeps laughing at me when I tell him about Jeremy's absence and the reason for it.

After graduation, Kalifa still comes to visit Silvy as we are now in SS3, and they, graduates. I on the other hand never got to see Jeremy again after the prom he missed!

My SS2 life is just... Indifferent. In between. I don't feel much, so much, act much, I am just ghost-like, and I like it. Jeremy came into my life and peacefully walked out of it. I am not hurt that he left like that. I'm pretty fine.

My SS1 involved Nathaniel the boy who liked me but never confessed and left when I was finally sure of my feelings for him, and Victor the boy I liked but showed me the true definition of humiliation.

SS1 entailed some good friends leaving me (Edna and Faith). SS1 made me struggle with Silvias lies. SS1 was a tough year for me.

Then SS2. It was with less drama. It made me give my first kiss to Emerald in a truth or dare game. Emerald is a random boy from my class who is kind of close to Victor.

Then Dina made Victor kiss me in another truth or dare game.

How did that happen?

Emerald, Victor, Tunde, Abdul, Dina, Silvia, and I decided to play the truth or dare game. We moved to an empty class and I nonchalantly agreed to be a part of the dumb game. They kept spinning the bottle and I was lost in the Biology textbook on my lap. I was looking for the answers to our Biology homework.

I Paid zero to no attention to my environment and unknown to me, Dinas was hunting me. I suddenly felt the room drop into dead silence. I looked up suspiciously only to find everyone glaring at me and a sick smile plastered on Dina's face. 'What is that girl up to? ' I thought.

"Go on. " I heard my best friend Dina instruct Victor. He stood to his feet and began to walk towards me.
Confused and perplexed, I was forced to ask.

"What's the dare? "

"I dared him to kiss you for five seconds. " Dina said with a wink at me.

"What?" I quizzed in bewilderment.

I wasn't expecting this. I remember trembling as Victor stood over me and took my arm. I obeyed his pull and he led me to the back of the room.

I could feel their eyes on us. I sat on an abandoned locker and he stood before me with his back to them. I closed my eyes ready to absorb this mellow insult.

I call it an insult because once in SS1, he was dared to peck me. He only moved close to my ear and made a kiss sound. I was forced to act as he pecked me as the whole group didn't believe he did. We managed to fool the group but I bared that insult.

Everyone thought he pecked me, but we both know he didn't. I felt insulted because to me it meant 'you're not worthy of my kiss. Not even in a game so you're gonna have to fool them except you're desperate'

Hence, I was ready for another such insult this time. I closed my eyes so I didn't have to look into his eyes or see his expressions whatsoever. I began to count the seconds in my mind when to my surprise, I felt his lips take mine into his.

My heart exploded in shock and joy. He kissed me for a good three seconds but then just stopped halfway as though she recalled something.

That is one moment I still thank Dina for and one I can't ever forget.

Back to the point, SS2 brought me Jeremy and less Victor drama.

Just like that, two years passed. I didn't and haven't heard from Jeremy since then and I'm fine.

Now; I'm finally In SS3. I think I'm ready. I'm 16 now and I am more mature than when I began senior school. I have been broken by both my Junior and Senior school. I may just be 16, but I don't believe in love.

That's one reason I hate the Zeeworld series. They make love look so beautiful and easy to come by. Whereas in real life, it's just a pain in the butt.

I want to be dead to feelings from now on. I see my mates find loving boyfriends who adore them and I'm stuck with the fact that I'm 99.9% unlovable.

I'm going to spend being 16; snug in bed, consuming chocolates, sleeping, making diary entries crying, and a bunch of other stuff.

I think I'm going to have to accept my depression instead of fruitlessly trying to run from it.