Finer Things // h.s.

Strong

February 17th, 2021

I look into the mirror and stare at my reflection, my fingers tapping at the basin of the sink impatiently waiting for the results. I haven't had my period in three months, I passed it off to stress with planning the wedding and working continually but something about this feels off, something isn't right. My phone alarm goes off and I tap at the screen to stop the ringing. I take a deep breath and turn around to the toilet and take the piece of plastic from the top of the toilet where it rests.

"You can do this, Tilly. It's gonna be fine." I say to myself.

Negative.

But that doesn't make sense? I haven't had my period in three months and I've never missed a period, not once in almost twenty-seven years. How is this possible? A part of me feels like maybe I kinda wanted it to be positive, I've always wanted kids. 

At least my wedding dress will still fit.

 I can't help but feel disappointed in the outcome. I throw the stick in the bin and walk out of the bathroom and crash onto the bed, my hand resting on my stomach as the other supports the back of my head. Something isn't right, how can I not be pregnant? I reach for my phone and make a call to the doctors' surgery for a blood test when a woman with a thick Russian accent answers on the other line.

"L.A. Private GP, can I help you?" She asks and I hear typing from her end.

"Hey, it's Matilda Jackson, I need to see Doctor Nellie for a blood test." I say softly and the typing grows faster.

"Sure, she's got 2:30 pm today, other than that you'll be waiting about two weeks to get in with her, or I could put you with Doctor Able whose got availability tomorrow around lunch?" She says and I turn my head to look at the time on the small analogue clock that sits on the bedside table.

12:58 pm

"Yes, that's fine thank you I'll be in this afternoon." I say.

"Okay perfect, see you then Miss Jackson." The line ends and I throw the phone down next to me and stare at the ceiling. I hear footsteps come up the stairs and I prop myself up on my elbows as I lay on the bed.

"There you are, I was worried. Are you okay?" Harry says as he sits on the bed next to me and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and gives me a sweet smile. My angel amidst any kind of stress. 

"I'm okay, love. I have a blood test this afternoon."

"I'll come with you, what's it for?" He says and I sit up properly to rest my head on his shoulder.

"Low iron." I say. It's not entirely a lie, if I haven't had my period in months it could well and truly be the case.

"Well that's no good, what time do we need to go? I'll drive." He says and I look up at him and feel at ease again.

"Leave in the next forty-five minutes, it's at 2:30 downtown." I say and he kisses my forehead.

"Great, come have something to eat, I'll make it for you." He smiles and I look into his eyes, how did I get so lucky?

"I love you." I say and he rolls his eyes.

"Well duh." He laughs and I smile as he stands and pulls me up from the bed.

******

"I hate needles, I hate them with my whole being." Harry says under his breath as he stares at my arm.

"Well lucky you're not getting it done." I remark and he shrugs.

"Mhm." He mumbles. 

"With all those tattoos, you'd think you would be okay?" Doctor Nellie says sarcastically and Harry gulps.