The Rebel Victor | I [THG]

Chapter Thirty-Four | The Remains

The entire trainride, Quinn locked herself in her room. Nobody could get her to even put a single toe outside the door. Even Remilda constantly asking her to come drink something or eat something...she even had the nerve to tell her she should be more social. Quinn had to bite her tongue to keep her from saying something to her than she'd regret. Even though she knew that she would have a good excuse-- losing everything because of something so stupid was a pretty good excuse to get angry with anyone.

When they gave her a warning about nearing the District, she forced herself to rumage through the clothes that the Capitol gave her. She wasn't really in the mood to do anything productive, and she was much less motivated to even look like she was happy to be back in Four. She decided on a pair of nice, black dress pants. Mainly because that would be easy to have over her leg. Then she chose a nice blouse that was blue. She put on a pair of flats, brushed her hair, and called it good enough. She stepped out of her room, she walked down the hall towards the main car where Finnick and Mags were probably waiting for her with Remilda who was waiting to say her final goodbyes.

"My, my, you look wonderful, Quinn!" Remilda exclaimed from her seat at the table.

I don't feel wonderful, she thought as she looked Remilda over. Remilda wore a light yellow dress. The sleeves were long, but there were fluffy shoulder pieces there that had golden sparkles on it. Her face was pale, as always. And she had dramatic golden lipstick to match her eye makeup. And her hair was black, but curled with golden and yellow hair pieces.

Remilda stood up and walked over to Quinn, pulling her into a big hug. "I am so proud of you, my victor!" she smiled into Quinn's ear, and her voice sounded almost like she was on the verge of tears. Which Quinn wouldn't have been surprised about. Just seeing her made a lot of Capitol women tear up-- she could only imagine Remilda being her escort and all. "I will miss you so much," she sighed, "But don't you worry, you'll see me in two weeks for your Victory Tour!" she smiled brightly.

"I can't wait." Quinn said simply, hoping that Remilda could hear just how unenthusiastic she was. Quinn didn't know how she'd even begin to prepare herself to face all of those families...

Mags placed a hand on Quinn's shoulder before finally hugging her and then giving her a nod. As if to tell her as soon as she greeted people at the trainstation, she was homefree. Home was a strange word to call Victor's Village. She had always sort of hated the idea that the Victors were set apart from everyone else. But now, it made sense. The Victor's were so damaged, that they couldn't possibly function with everyday people. It was best for them to only be with each other. But then again, she hadn't ever really lived in a house-- at least not for a long time. She was used to the warehouse, but that was gone...

"Ready?" Finnick asked as the train began to come to a complete stop.

Quinn nodded, "Ready as I'll ever be."

"Don't forget to enjoy yourself, Quinn. At least a bit, and take good care of your leg! It should be better by the tour if you take good care of it." Remilda explained, pulling her into another hug.

Quinn nodded again, "Yeah, I will." she replied.

The group was silent for a moment, "What's that bit of advice that Ciruss gave you?" Finnick asked finally, breaking the silence.

Quinn actually felt her mouth twitch to form a small smile at the thought of that memory. Walking to the chariots with Ciruss, and he gave her the best advice to make people think she was happy.

"Smile, wave, and smile some more." Quinn stated as a peacekeeper walked past them, and pulled the door open.

As soon as the door opened, she knew she might not have to pretend to be happy to be back like she had been expecting. The familiar spell of salt water and fish flooded into the train car. She could hear people out there cheering for her already. The thought that Jenson and Rosa would be there began to creep into her mind, but she quickly shoved it out. She focused on the familiar smell, and for now, that would have to work. Mags stepped out of the train first, greeted by cheers. Then she turned and went to join the other two Victors from Four.

Quinn could remember watching this moment for years. Mainly because every time Finnick and Annie would come to the warehouse the same day to give them food because the peacekeepers would be busy with everything else that usually happened. The other Victors would always be waiting on the platform to greet their new fellow Victor.

Finnick sighed and put his arm around her shoulders, like he had done with the past two Victors that he had mentored. As soon as they stepped out of the train, the cheering became louder and more violent. Quinn smiled at the citizens of District Four, she was glad to be surrounded by the fresh ocean air. But she wasn't glad to be back in the District because she won the Hunger Games.

But you did win the Hunger Games, she reminded herself. You can't change that.

"Quinn!" Annie Cresta's voice exclaimed from behind her. As Quinn turned around, Annie pulled her into a tight hug. "I missed you so much!" she said, her red hair was frizzy because of the humid air and it covered Quinns face.

* * * * * *

Quinn had her hands shoved in her pants pockets as she walked through the District. There were a few times a little kid, not old enough to realize how awful the games were would run up to her and smile. They would just be happy to see her, and she'd do her best to act as happy as she could to meet them. But she couldn't help but be scared for them-- she could imagine in five or so years, when they'd be old enough for the Reapings, she could be their mentor. She could hold their odds in her hands. And seeing them so young, so innocent...it seemed unfair. She knew she would have to be like Finnick in order to be a good mentor. She wasn't good at talking someone up, she'd have to make sure people liked her. If they liked her, they'd like her tributes...but she hated the fact that she was already thinking like that. It made her sick.

But she wasn't walking through the District for the sake of meeting people. Most of them had already met her at one point, but they didn't care about her until now. She was walking the familiar road towards the warehouse. It wasn't that she thought Finnick had lied to her, she just wanted to see it for herself. Annie had offered to go along with her, but Quinn had wanted to go by herself before she would go to Victor's Village.

When she got to the site of the warehouse, she was horried at what she saw. The ground all around where the warehouse had been was scortched. And the remains of the warehouse was burnt and turned to ash. She could imagine the horrifying day when this happened. Had they all been in there? Was it at night? Or during the day? She couldn't help but think it was completely her fault. All of those orphans were dead, burned alive probably and it was because she got on Snow's badside.

Quinn just stood there and stared at the ruins of the warehouse-- the place that had been her home for years. Somewhere in there was the ashes of her friends-- the only other people who would understand what it was like to be on the streets and what it was like to be an outcast in the district. Quinn felt her eyes beginning to burn with tears as she walked into the blackened area. The warehouse had practically caved in on itself. They hadn't just been executed, they had been eliminated-- slaughtered...just orphans-- nobody would miss them.

Nobody but me, she thought.

Quinn turned around, she couldn't go any furthur into the remains of the warehouse-- of the orphans. She quickly made her way back through the District, hurrying past anyone who said anything to her. Snow didn't just hate her. He despised her, and he hated everything she was and would be. He wanted to destroy her, and he was doing a hell of a good job at it. She couldn't think straight. Was she happy she won? If she was, was she happy to be alive? Or was she just happy that Snow had to deal with the fact that she was still alive? She couldn't sort it out, it all just made a big scrambled mess in her head.

It was like there was a war going on in her head between herself and this version of her that had been labeled a rebel. The only problem was that she couldn't tell which side was the real her.