roommates | namjin

✨15✨

After a long day out with everyone, Namjoon was ready to go home. He felt exhausted and he knew the exact reason why he did so. He did want to stay with the others, but he couldn't run the risk of breaking down in front of them. He had kept his past as a secret up till now and he wanting planning on giving his secret away.

That stupid phone call. Why did he have to phone now? It wasn't like he cared for Namjoon. All the phone call was, was a chance to depict Namjoon of any confidence that he had. Everything from his childhood was coming to relapse.

Even though everyone was still out, having fun, there was one other who wasn't with them, why didn't even go out in the first place. Seokjin.

By the time that Namjoon had arrived on the floor of his dorm, he had completely forgotten that there was a chance that Seokjin was there. Why wouldn't he forget? Seokjin was always with his boyfriend no matter how much the relationship was affecting Seokjin. He couldn't see anything which to the others was common sense.

To say the least, Namjoon wasn't in the mood to see anyone. Once again, another reason why he retreated from being out with his friends. He didn't know if he felt anger or sadness, maybe both. However, he knew that if he were to see anyone, he would project this feeling onto them.

As Namjoon placed his key into the door, Seokjin heard and turned his head to the door. Yes, they had fallen out the other day, but that didn't mean that Seokjin hated him. To be honest, Seokjin knew that everything that Namjoon had said was true, he was just too scared to admit it. Maybe they could talk about it when Namjoon was inside.

Namjoon couldn't be bothered with anything as he opened the door and didn't even acknowledge Seokjin. He just wanted to get to his room and cry. Why did he have to call today? Why did he have to ruin his plans? Why was he still bothering Namjoon even after he had moved to this new college?

Seokjin could tell that there was something off with Namjoon from the moment that he entered their dorm. Even though they were on the best of terms, Namjoon wouldn't just ignore Seokjin like he wasn't there as he was in this moment. From the glimpse that Seokjin had got of Namjoon, he seemed to be upset as his eyes reflected the light. Seokjin couldn't leave him when he was in this state.

"Hey, you okay?" Seokjin asked as he stood. But the other didn't reply. It seemed as if he hadn't heard Seokjin and his concern as he carried on walking, however, he had heard, he just didn't want to project whatever he felt onto Seokjin. he didn't want the other to find out why he came to this college in the first place.

As he didn't reply, Seokjin walked up to the other. He thought that Namjoon would see that he wanted to have a conversation with him, but instead. He just kept on walking to his room. Seokjin was fed up with the silent treatment as he turned Namjoon so that they were now facing each other.

And then silence.

Seokjin hadn't expected the tears to be streaming down each side of the younger face, and it was honestly kind of nerving. He was normally so happy and upbeat, clearly because he was hiding behind a mask.

"Namjoon, please, I'm sorry about whatever I said in the text the other day. Please can you talk to me?" Seokjin pleaded, wishing that his roommate would talk about why he was in this state. He just wanted Namjoon to be okay and hated to see him like this.

The silence continued as Namjoon just rolled his eyes, attempting to leave to his room. However, Seokjin still had a strong grip on his shoulder stopping Namjoon from leaving the scene. No one knew about anything that Namjoon was dealing with and Seokjin didn't want him to bottle it up for any longer.

"Don't be like this. Please, talk to me." Seokjin asked again. Namjoon just gave a fake laugh as he gave an intimidating stare to Seokjin.

"And what if I do tell you? You're going to offer me some advice that you won't even be able to take." Namjoon said, his sadness seemed to be a rage. Seokjin was confused, to say the least. What did he mean?

Namjoon didn't know why his tone was presented as if he was angry. Maybe deep down he was. Maybe he was fed up with the way that Seokjin was acting so blind to everything that was going on in his life. If he couldn't help himself with his problems, how was he meant to help anyone else?

"W...what do you mean?" Seokjin stuttered out. He knew the topic that Namjoon was going to speak about. He knew that he wasn't ready to speak about what Namjoon was going to say.

"Don't give me that. I can't talk to you about this because if you act the way that you have acted about you and your boyfriend, you're not going to make me feel any better about my fucking situation. And don't try to say anything to defend yourself because I and the other have tried to help you so many other times that it's not even worth it anymore." Seokjin was lost for words. How was he even meant to respond to that?

"But you aren't dating anyone, so how is it meant to be the same context for the situation?" Seokjin said as the only thing that he could think of. Namjoon rolled his eyes again.

"I'm not talking about that I'm talking about what your boyfriend does to you. It's abuse Jin. I and the others are trying to help you because it's clear that he's manipulating you so you think he's not. Just because it's not physical abuse doesn't mean that it's not abuse." At this point, Namjoon felt slightly sympathetic towards Seokjin in this situation.

"I don't get how that relates to you. What goes on between me and my boyfriend has nothing to do with you." Seokjin said, trying to defend his boyfriend like he had done every other time when someone had brought up this topic other times. For some reason, Seokjin thought he was weak if he admitted to everything that was going on.

"Yeah that my fucking point, you are completely oblivious so you act like it's none of our business when I and the others are literally just trying to look at you for you. None of us has to care to get you out of this relationship that's why we try because we care." Namjoon shouted back. He was trying his best not to break, but unfortunately, this was only coming out as anger.

"You... you haven't been abused so who are you to say that I am?" Seokjin said, stuttering a bit at the beginning not sure if he should have said this or not. Seokjin knew that Namjoon was right.

And then silence.

It seemed to be what Seokjin had said that had hit a nerve in Namjoon. He looked like he could cry. Was something going on behind the scenes? Was this why Namjoon looked upset when he first came into the room.

"As a matter of fact, I do know what it's like," Namjoon replied, his voice quiet, almost like a whisper. He was ashamed of everything that had happened to him in the past. He was scared that everyone would view him differently if they knew about this. About the reason, he had to transfer to this college in the first place.

"Wait what? You've been through this? Talk to me please, I can help you." Seokjin's juxtaposition from his previous words just rose Namjoon's anger once again. He didn't care. He just wanted to know about it because he couldn't mind his own business.

"Like you're going to be able to help. If I tell you, you will probably side with him as you do with your boyfriend." Namjoon voice was still low as he tried his best not to get upset. He didn't want to seem weak.

"Please Namjoon, I can understand," Seokjin said, placing his hand onto Namjoon's shoulder to try and comfort him. Namjoon just pushed him off of him.

"No! You don't understand and you never will! Your family accepts you, and you don't get called slurs every time that you go home. You don't get beaten to a pulp causing you to feel ashamed of who you are. You can break up with your boyfriend and stop this but I'm stuck with my parents and can't escape that. Even with me moving to this college, I still have to go back to them!" Namjoon was pissed as he turned from Seokjin.

Seokjin couldn't think of anything to say. No one could guess that this was going on in Namjoon's life. After brushing it off for so long, Seokjin did see what was wrong with his relationship. He saw that he could be at an advantage to  Namjoon's situation.

Unfortunately, Namjoon was now in his room and furious with Seokjin. Seokjin had to think of what to do to make this all right.