roommates | namjin

✨18✨

After giving a few thoughts on the matter, Seokjin started to feel slightly guilty about recent events. If what Namjoon said he was going through was true, Seokjin was in a pit of overwhelming guilt. To think that Namjoon was going through this and Seokjin just ignored it.

Maybe they could talk about it. Sort things out? Seokjin didn't want his roommate to hate him.

As well as this, Seokjin had thought about when Namjoon had spoken about how he could 'get out of his situation'. Seokjin was now aware of his situation with kelvin and knew it was bad.

However, no matter what happened with kelvin and Seokjin, Seokjin was deeply in love with him. He didn't want to break it off. He didn't want kelvin to leave him. He had the mindset that he was nothing without him. He would feel worthless.

Nevertheless, Seokjin knew that if he carried on leaving the situation, the relationship between himself and Namjoon would disintegrate faster than he could think. He would do anything not to let this friendship fall apart.

With this decided, Seokjin headed from his room to Namjoons. He knew that he was in his room as he was there for the most time since the argument. The only time that he had moved from his room was when he had his lessons. Namjoon hadn't even spoken to the others.

From Namjoons point of view, he felt like an outsider. When the others would talk about their home life, it would be so positive. How they were all accepted by their parents for being who they were. And then there was Namjoon. He was treated the opposite by his father.

After thinking about everything that had gone on in his life, Namjoon thought that it was best to just stay in his dorm room. He was ashamed of everything.

Seokjin approached the others room as he prepared himself to knock at the door. He had no idea what he was going to say but really hoped that what he would say would be a spare of the moment kind of thing.

As a wave of anxiety came over him, Seokjin had to count himself down before he knocked on the door. It wasn't even the fact that they would argue again, although that was a large part. What if Namjoon went out before Seokjin noticing? He would definitely feel embarrassed if he was knocking at a door with no one on the other side.

As soon as the countdown finished in his head, Seokjin knocked three times on the door. He made sure that the knocks were loud enough so that they were audible but not too loud to the point that Namjoon would think the police were at his door or something.

Namjoon heard the knock straight away but was hesitant to get up. Did he want to face anyone at this moment? He wasn't in the mood for an argument, and if Seokjin was there to say anything other than he had listened to Namjoon and broken up with his boyfriend, Namjoon knew very well that they would argue.

However, Namjoon had been in social isolation for the past couple of days, and there was a chance that it was someone other than Seokjin, coming to see if Namjoon was okay, or it was Seokjin coming to say that he was free of the toxic relationship of his. Namjoon really wanted to be on good terms with Seokjin again and would be distraught if the argument had ruined their relationship forever.

Outside, Seokjin was starting to wonder if Namjoon was even in there after around twenty seconds of no one answering the door. The twenty seconds that he stood there felt like hours. His hands were starting to sweat as he felt nervous. More than he did before.

Just as Seokjin was about to turn away and leave, he heard the door handle being opened. Namjoon was in fact in his room. And now Seokjin was going to have to figure out what his apology was going to be.

"If you have come here to say that you're in it so much worse than I am I don't want to hear it," Namjoon said, milliseconds after opening the door. He said it so quickly that it was clear that Seokjin had to be quick about this before his time to apologise had run out.

"No!" He said, slightly louder than intended as he hoped that he wasn't coming off as the kind of narcissistic person to say something like, 'well I've been through this compared to you'. "I'm sorry, I mean no," he said a lot quieter than the first time. Namjoon just kind of glared at him. There was definitely broken trust.

"Then what exactly did you come here to say?" Namjoon said, changing his tone on 'exactly' as he couldn't tell if this was positive or negative.

"I actually wanted to apologise to you." Seokjin said as Namjoon leant against the door frame, crossing his arms as if to say, 'go on'.

"What you said the other day, about everything that you have been through, I feel awful. The fact that I didn't know makes me feel awful. I just completely disregarded that there could be anything wrong in your life. I guess I kind of thought that you had this perfect life, something that's shown in a tv show or something. I'm sorry I didn't think about what was actually going on. I want to help you through whatever you are going through at home, and I was to restore this friendship." Seokjin said, realising he just said a bunch of words and that it probably didn't make a lot of sense.

At first, Namjoon didn't like the fact that Seokjin was constantly saying 'I' and using a first-person tone. It was like he was bringing all of this on himself when it had nothing to do with him. However, Namjoon understood the anxiety's which were around Seokjin and realised that it was just a nervous thing and didn't mean for it to come out like that.

In a moment of whatever happened, Namjoon interpreted this as Seokjin had listed to everything he had said in their recent argument. This meant that Namjoon thought that Seokjin had listened to the term that he was in a toxic relationship with Kelvin. Little did he know, this was not accurate.

However, because this was his thought process, an action came into his mind. From what Seokjin had said, he felt awful for Namjoon and was now coming to terms with what Namjoon had to deal with at home. Seokjin accepted him and he could be himself around him.

Whether it was self-acceptance or pure impulse, Namjoon stepped forward, placing his hand onto Seokjin's cheeks, placing his lips on to the others. Namjoon had figured that he liked to others, more than a friendship. This was his first moment of acceptance and he really hoped that this would go well.

Seokjin was out of it at first. He didn't really understand what was happening, which was why at first the kiss lasted for a couple of seconds. Seokjin's brain was going a million miles per hour so it was understandable why he wasn't processing what was going on.

However, in just a couple of moments, Seokjin's mind knew what was happening. Seokjin couldn't do this. He still had a boyfriend. No matter how much sympathy he felt towards Namjoon, he felt it was wrong for them to kiss. Seokjin pushed himself out of the kiss.

"What the hell?!" Seokjin spoke, his voice was quite panicked and his breathing was far from a regular pace. He looked at Namjoon like he was some sort of sociopath. Namjoon knew that this was the wrong move and now had instant regret about what just happened.

"What, I thought you broke it off with kelvin," Namjoon said, he was scared that he had ruined everything and this was present for the tone that was in his voice. He might have just ducked up everything that could have turned his life around.

"No, what the fuck! I said I was sorry that I ignored everything that you were going through. I'm still in a relationship with Kelvin. This is fucked up, I'm out of here." Seokjin said, his breath a little fast as he was trying to calm himself down. He felt like he was cheating on Kelvin even though Namjoon was the one who enforced the action.

With this said, Seokjin didn't even make eye contact with Namjoon as he turned to the door and headed out of the dorm. He was on his way to Kelvins to try and reassure himself that this wasn't his fault.

Namjoon was left standing in the dorm. Now he was the one that had fucked up.

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sorry it's taking a while for updates but I really want to write this fanfic well rather than rushing it so yall can get some quality chapters, hope you understand 🧍