What could have been.

- Chapter 8 -

I always find myself feeling paranoid that all the stares, laugh, giggles or whispers amongst friends are at my expense. For a huge campus like this one, I'm always left feeling as though I'm under a microscope in comparison to every other student. Whether it is true or not, I hate these moments alone, surrounded by people that know what happened last year. I feel their judgement and I watch them watch me, as I become worthless through their eyes. No amount of deep breathes or distraction I try to play in my head can steer my thoughts away from the reality of it.

It's been four months since I became Sienna Moore- party girl, star Soccer player Joseph Wilson's girlfriend and near college dropout to becoming Sienna Moore- a compulsive liar. I know my reputable reputation was probably already tarnished but I still could walk around and be unseen now I'm centre stage. No matter where I am, all eyes are on me as I live and breathe to be the reminder of that night.

I can't stay outside any longer, I turn to face the entrance and proceed to swipe my ID card on the barrier gates to head inside, to avoid getting even more swallowed up by the hate I have for myself the longer I stand out here. Brody can just meet me in the library. I send him a text that I will be waiting for him inside the library, at our usual table, that's hidden right in the back of the fourth floor of the library.

Brody is great company for when you need to focus. He's very generous when it comes to doing the coffee run and he doesn't distract me the whole time. We talk but he is good at reminding me to get some work done as well.

"Keeping up appearances are we." I freeze once I've stepped off the last step of the third floor, slowly turning around. However, I don't have to look up to know who the person behind that comment is.

"The fact you're here, it makes the two of us." I say, cutting off the laughter of Darcey's little posse or should I say her minions. I raise my brow and smirk while folding my arms across my chest to add more sarcasm to my statement.

Darcey and I have never been friends, we hung out a lot together last year because she's dating Joseph's best friend Brent. Consequently, we were forced to endure one another's company for more times than I would have wanted. Safe to say she took his side in the breakup.

"Funny. Maybe comedian can be your next thing, you know when you fuck this up." She spits out. I know I should be the better person and ignore her, however, if I'm being completely honest, I enjoy the fact we don't have to pretend to like each other anymore and no matter how insecure I feel, I will not let Darcey Montgomery belittle me.

"We all can't have rich daddy's that pay for our stupidity to amount to something, now can we." I say with my biggest smile. I turn on my heels and continue to walk up the stairs. I don't have to turn around to know that she's still standing where I left her as I can feel Darcey's stare burn into the back of my head.

As I round the corner to enter the library space which will lead me to the quiet section, I take a deep breath and give myself a mental high five for standing up for myself against Darcey.

*Phone buzzes*

Brody: Hey. Sorry, I have to cancel for tonight. Family emergency.

I guess it will just be a study date for one this evening, I suppose I can get a few hours in of course work and leave before it gets too late. Travelling home late at night is something I try to avoid.

Me: Hi. It's fine. Hope everything's ok?

Brody: Yes, everything is fine. Wedding planning fiasco. Still happy to be my plus one?

Me: Of course 😊

Brody's sister Evelyn is getting married in a few weeks to Dr Louis Montgomery, as you would have guessed the Bradwick family are incredibly happy, considering their soon to be son-in-laws profession. With the wedding nearing I can only imagine the amount of pressure his family are feeling at the moment to make everything perfect.