Love with strings detached

Chapter 37

Theo's P.O.V

I glide my fingers around the leather steer wheel as I take a right turn, driving us back to my place. The light breeze from the slightly open windows on each side of us tickles our hairs. We're both silent, lost in our thoughts as I keep my eyes on the dark road.

Daisy is sitting next to me with her head leaning on the window frame, her gaze glued to the passing view outside.

My thoughts run wild about what happened a few minutes ago and I think hers are doing the same.

When we had sex tonight, that's when I finally accepted that I have feelings for her. Having so much limited space in here where we had no choice but to be glued to each other and nothing else to turn our gaze to but each other eyes, made it so much difficult for me to keep lying to myself.

The position itself that was so much deeper than ever before made me realize that I can't hide it anymore.

Thomas was right, I can't live my whole life afraid of love and more so now, that in my entire 20 years of life I finally found hope for a better future in someone else.

I found hope for love with her.

I'm still afraid of this ending badly, of me getting more pain than love in the end but if I don't start fighting my fears they'll never go away. If I don't fight for a better life for me then who will?

Even if it doesn't work out for us in the long run, even if we never speak to each other again, I'll always have a piece of her with me with all the memories we continuously make.

I feel like I can learn a lot from her. I can learn how to be calmer, how to be more open about my feeling, be more courageous.

I can learn how to let go and move on.

I can learn how to love and allow people to love me again.

I've revisited past memories and situations all of pain and misery to explain my tattoos to her and for the first time I didn't get overly emotional doing so.

Her presence alone gives me strength.

I kill the engine and get out of the car, locking it behind me after she got out, holding her bag and coat in one hand. I walk to her side and gently almost hesitantly grab her hand in mine, feeling her squeeze it back.

I intended to take us to my room as we're both in desperate need of a shower but her next words stop me.

"Oh, let me grab clean underwear and my towels and some other stuff," she says, halting me but not letting go of my hand.

"Alright, I'll wait here," I tell her as she opens the door, letting my hand go.

I lean against the doorframe, watching her run from her bathroom to her bed and then wardrobe.

"Okay, ready," she says as I grab her towels and pyjamas off her hands to help her out a bit.

"Perfect, let's go," I say, holding them with one hand as I open my door with the other.

I leave her pyjamas and my jacket on my bed and go after her to the bathroom, seeing her place her toothbrush next to mine in the holder. I unconsciously smile at that, placing her towels on the toilet. She started removing her makeup with her wipes as I open the shower, letting the water run and get warm.

I grip my t-shirt and pull it off my body, letting my tattoos be visible in all their glory. I unbuckle and unzip my jeans, pushing them down alongside my boxers, throwing those as well in the laundry basket.

I get under the showerhead, letting the warm water soothe my muscles as the exhaustion kicks in. I push my hair back and lean back on the shower wall looking at her as she starts getting undressed.