He had lived every day as the one before. One after the last the days blurred together. He wanted nothing more than to find something to live for. To have a suicidal mate was unbearable. Especially when she doesn't know she's your mate.
She'd been...
"What crap are you spouting", I ask, "turning into an oversized husky is one thing but, you mean to tell me that we're supposed to love each other because of what exactly? What makes us soulmates? I don't even know you".
"Well when you find your mate there are some signs like the sparks when we touch, the way we smell to each other, and the way our eyes look to each other", he says.
"What are you talking about?", I ask exasperated, "I meant like what makes us mates? Is it some kind of magic or something? And, what do you mean how my eyes look? What is wrong with my eyes?".
He listens to all my questions before responding, "well everyone has their own beliefs on where mates come from. I think it's an evolutionary thing, others believe it was a curse cast on us to split our souls between two bodies weakening us, more religious people think it's a gift from God, the more old fashioned of our kind think there's a goddess of the moon that blessed us with them, there's probably a million other theories on it. Your eyes are beautiful; there is nothing wrong with them".
"Well then why can't I sense any of the signs?", I ask.
"I think this has already been a lot", he says, "how about we talk about this another time". I decide he's probably right. My head is reeling from everything he's just told me.
"You want to lack every, right?", I ask. He nods his head. I sigh taking a bag from him.
I head to my bedroom and he follows behind me. My entire apartment is pretty bare already. I just go for my closet to start pulling out my clothes. He makes a face at my wardrobe but, helps me nonetheless.
After grabbing my makeup and hygiene supplies from the bathroom we're done. I don't want to leave my apartment but, I don't see any way of getting out of this situation. I can tell that this man has a lot of influence and resources at his disposal to find me should I run without any kind of plan. If what he says is true, or even if he just believes it to be, I don't doubt this man would chase me to the ends of the earth.
I'll miss my apartment a lot. I rarely spent time here and it's extremely barren but, it was mine. It's something I thought could never be threatened or held over my head. It was a symbol of my independence and everything I had to go through to gain it.
"Do I have to leave?", I ask, "I'll find a way to get by without turning to the streets anymore if that's the problem".
"I know this is a lot and that I've taken a lot of your agency but, this is not a safe place for you to be", he says wrapping an arm around in a comforting gesture. I don't know if his actions make me feel any better.
He takes my bag from me before pulling me up along with it so my body is pressed to his. I immediately panic and wrap my arms and legs around him.
"You're already carrying two bags let me walk", my voice comes out nervously.
"I'll manage", he says and, he does. He somehow gets me and the bags into his car without so much as jostling me. He tosses the bags into his trunk before settling me into my seat. He gets in and pulls out of the lot.
"We were going to go shopping today but, things ran a little long and I need to make sure my grandmother eats lunch", he says. I nod but, my attention is elsewhere. We pass the corner I usually work on. There are already people coming out. They're more covered than usual because of the snow but, I still know what they are.
I never bothered to get to know the other working girls. I always hated the work. I don't know why I'm sad to think I'll never work again. I guess because it was something I was able to choose.
He catches me looking, "don't think about these things anymore".
"Why shouldn't I think about it?", I ask.
"Because it's no good".
I scoff, "then what am I supposed to think about". He shrugs at my question.
"Does it bother you that I'm a whore?", He says nothing so I continue, "I hate to break it you but, I was a whore long before I got to that corner". His jaw sets and his fist grip tighter on the steering wheel. I like that he's upset. I know it may put me in danger but, I like having this power over him.
I keep going, "I've been one for as long as I can think of. I just got passed around from man to man my entire life".
"Stop", he says. The growl in his tone only encourages me. At this point, I care more about hurting him than I do my well-being.
I sit there listing all the men I can remember. We get halfway through the forest leading to his house when he pulls over. I stop talking as he sits there. He closes his eyes and takes slow steady breaths. I watch the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest.
"What are you-", I never finish my question. He has me straddling him in his seat immediately. His eyes open revealing all-black eyes. It's a look I've seen in people before but, not like this. His pupils are blown out almost like he's hopped up on something. It's not that tough, there's something else there.
"Stop", this time I listen. He pulls me so tight against him I can feel his heart beating wildly in his chest. He forces his face into the crook of my neck.
He holds me like that for what feels like a long time. It's not until I'm pushing at his chest does he does anything. He lets out a loud growl and I feel his teeth graze my skin. The contact feels wonderful and I lean into him. He sucks at the skin and I grind down on him in response. His teeth push against my skin giving me a gentle nibble.
I moan out, "harder". He freezes before pulling away. When I look at him his face is back to normal. I immediately feel rejected.
"I'm sorry about that", he says, "it won't happen again".
"Why am I not good enough for you?", I ask, "I was for everyone else". He places me back into my seat none too gently.
"That enough, there are things you do not understand yet", he says, "now buckle your seat belt".
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