Lightning Only Strikes Once - Clexa

Chapter 96: Railroaded

Raven does not get better. Her bursts of strength get shorter and further apart in the following days. She shivers violently whenever they are outside, teeth chattering loudly, and after a whispered conference they wrap her in every available blanket and Linkon carries her as much as possible, while Zion and Lexa (both around Raven's height and therefore unable to carry her quickly) carry all of their supplies. At least Raven can cling enough to be carried piggy-back, though Lexa can see the exertion exhausts her. She coughs harshly and painfully. When they stop for brief rests she sleeps lightly, thrashing against the blankets, waking to disorientation. Sometimes she complains and snarks at them and Lexa breathes easier. But sometimes instead she sobs weakly, apologising for slowing them down, for having to be carried, and from Raven that scares Lexa more than anything else.

"We cannot continue like this," she tells Linkon softly one night, huddled in the little windbreak Zion has made them out of snow because they could not find anywhere better. They are barely keeping pace with Nia's gona as it is, the horses are slowed a little by the weather but the gona are not expending half the energy their followers are and it shows in their pace. Zion is out right now in the sharp wind seeing if he can pick up the trail again.

"Moba, Heda," Linkon says, face crumpled with tiredness and worry. "I am doing all I know how to do, but illnesses such as this take time -"

"Time we do not have," Lexa says flatly. "I think you will have to take her south again, to Abby." She looks at the shifting mass of blankets Raven is hidden in. "We may all have to go south. I cannot justify the risk of taking the Flame north without a fisa to take it back to Polis if the worst should happen, and without Raven and her bombs I see no way to take the Azplana by surprise and recover Clarke."

"It is your decision," Linkon says dutifully, but she can see the relief in his face plainly, as well as the regret. Linkon would never want to do something that could endanger a patient. And their mission has been a partial success – they brought the missile home.

But they have not brought Clarke home.

Raven apparently has the same thought and manages to struggle so that her head is outside her mass of blankets. "Not happening," she croaks, face flushed and sickly-looking. "We're in this until we get Clarke. That's the deal."

Lexa shakes her head. "We will lose them at this pace, and I do not know how to go faster," she tells Raven bluntly. She gives Linkon a look and he turns away, pretending not to hear their argument as he starts searching in his pack for some more herbs for Raven.

"So I'll start walking again," Raven says, just as stubborn even though she looks barely able to sit up. "Or we'll steal a horse. Or you can leave me somewhere to wait for you, maybe with one of your spy friends – I can give you a quick rundown on how to use bombs so you don't blow yourself up. But we're not going back, not yet."

"Raven -" Lexa starts to say.

"Please," Raven says, hoarse voice cracking. "I'm asking you as my friend, please don't do this. Don't make me the reason we fail. We are friends, right?" She widens her eyes at Lexa, who recognises that Raven is trying to manipulate her.

"Of course," Lexa says immediately anyway. "Of course we are friends -"

Raven manages a smile, her first in a while, and interrupts again. "Exactly! Good friends, best friends even. Friends with benefits, in fact. The benefits in this case being my awesome advice. You should listen to your friends. And my advice is that we shouldn't go back. I don't care if I hack up a lung, we need to keep going, we need to find Clarke."

Lexa sighs and closes her eyes, thinking. Her insides twist at the thought of abandoning Clarke. Every part of her wants to race north, to find Clarke, to do something, her own desires echoed in Raven's determination. But there are no villages nearby to hide in or steal a horse from, nowhere to leave Raven safely, and no way to keep pace with the riders they are tracking with Raven sick and slow.