Bloodline and Kin (Gifted Werewolf Series: Book 2)

3: Simone

Alpha Roniston was impressed with my ability to be on time for once in my life and said I could go out again in a few days. This made me jump for joy and head to my room in the pack house. It wasn't noticeably big and didn't have any personal touches to it since I hated decorating everything just to take it down at some point anyways.

Jerom was in the shower and singing some song he's heard recently, so I decide to take out my little journal and write about today.

Day 2,738

It's amazing how much freedom a person can feel just by running for a few hours. It's amazing how that few hours can make someone feel alive with energy even though their body is screaming from exertion. I love running, I've decided. The only thing better than running would be flying, then no one could catch me.

I still haven't tried finding my mate, not that he's been looking for me either. Jerom thinks highly of mates, but I have my doubts. I know I shouldn't trust what everyone says about mates because not everyone has great experiences, but I trust my mother. How could I not? She told me mates are a danger to us all, that there is pain and suffering in a mate, and there is and never will be complete loyalty in the relationship.

But what if I do have a mate and he's better than what she says? What if he's—

"Hey, is the Alpha happy?" Jerom says, stepping into the bedroom.

I smile. "Yup! He said maybe again sometime!"

"That's great, Si!" he says and sits beside me on my bed. "I can't believe you're going by days! Why days?"

I shrug. "Is there a correct way of keeping track of time in a journal?"

"Yes," he says with a brow raised. "Date and time."

Laughing, I shake my head. "No. I'm not going to do that."

"So, tell me why you chose to go with number of days instead of the normal stuff."

I look at him and see he's serious. "Giving the date and time doesn't show how long I've been going through this the pain of becoming the person I am turning into. From the age of fourteen, it's been one thing after another of me being trained and suffering the loss of freedom every other wolf has ever had. I want to see the number of days it has been since I've been writing all this shit down. If no one else cares to see it with their eyes, then it's for me."

He shrugs and frowns. "Why write it down?"

"Why make everything into a joke?" I counter. He smirks. "To let it out without destroying something I'll regret."

"Like what?"

After a long moment, I say, "Like our friendship."

"Simone, you won't destroy our friendship out of some need to release anger. Damn, do you really think you'd be able to hurt me that much?"

I didn't know, but I didn't want to find out. I was scared because I felt something deep inside me becoming bigger and bigger, dark, and menacing, filled with hatred and hollowness that I don't usually feel unless I'm being suffocated by the protection of others. I was afraid it might overwhelm me one day when I finally snap. "It's a possibility, Jerom. I won't lie to you and say I'm perfect."

"Hell, Simone, no one is perfect!" he growled.

I smile at him and put my journal away under my bed. "We all know you aren't perfect, so go somewhere else and sleep."

His genuine smile returns, and he playfully pushes my arm. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I nod. "I'm fine. I'm tired."

We hug and he disappears into the hallway, clicking the door shut behind him. I lie down and close my eyes, hoping I don't have to see people finding their mates again tomorrow like I have for the past week.

My hope, sadly to say, was dreadfully flushed down the toilet the moment I woke up to Alpha Roniston's announcement of an Alpha coming to find his mate sometime this afternoon. Everyone was a flurry of movement trying to look their best for the new alpha coming, all the unmated females questioning how they should dress for him. I, however, crossed my arms and leaned against the wall, uninterested.

Alpha Roniston gave me a weak, sympathetic smile as if that would cure all my problems, then went to a meeting with his Beta. Angrily, I stomped back to my room and tried in vain not to listen to the commotion downstairs of all the excitement. I knew, deep down, that if I had a mate, he would either reject me because of my weakness, or I'd reject him to protect myself. Having a mate just wasn't meant to be. Being human, Jerom's friend, a bastard pup with no family whatsoever, is who I am. Who I will always be.

There was a knock on my door, and I allowed them to come in. I saw the Alpha's reflection in the mirror as he peeked in on me. "Simone, you okay?"

I give him a tight-lipped smile. "Never better, Alpha."

"If you need anything, stomp on the floor three times and I'll send someone up."

"No problem. I know the drill," I say softly. He smiles and leaves, not even noticing my unshed tears in my eyes. I play a good scene: blonde, little nobody who can take not having a mate because that's what everyone wants for her. I laugh harshly and see my mother's picture taped to my mirror in the top right corner. "Another day, another year, and I've done everything you've asked of me. When can I do what I want?"

Tears slip down my cheeks and I stand and walk to the bed, crawling beneath the covers and feel sorry for myself because that's all I know how to do right now. The world is at odds with me and I want to give up because there's no point in fighting something so big as that.

The hollowness and hatred build larger than ever and I find myself trying to swallow down the scream rising in my throat. I want to bellow out my rage, sink my claws into something pliable and rip it to shreds only to feel a sticky substance stain my skin. I want to reject everyone telling me to run and hide, stay in my room and be a good girl, never go about on your own. I want the sound of other's pain and suffering echoing in my ears like a lullaby. I want to feel bones snap, bodies bend, skin tear, muscles shred, tendons and tissues detach themselves, teeth flying across the room like tiny boom-a-rangs.

Suddenly, I'm not on my bed or in my room, but soaring down the stairs and into the large living room where Jerom and a few other male pack members were watching tv, but now were staring at me in wide-eyed shock. "Simone, you need to go back upstairs before Alpha punishes you!" my friend hisses urgently.

I growl and take off towards the front door, the sound of giggles and deep voices making my head throb and my jaws hurt from the need to stop them. I barrel through the door and into sunlight, seeing around ten girls lined up wearing slutty clothes and more makeup than any model on movies. Alpha Roniston narrows his eyes at me, a silent warning to get back inside before he does something I'll regret. But my gaze lands on the male beside him, my eyes widen at the muscles he has lining his arms and legs, my nose flaring to take in his scent, and my mind repeating the one word that could explain this heavenly-sent nightmare: mate.