Past Trauma

Part 4

It was Jane Doe's last year of primary/intermediate school before she went to high school, which is meant to be a great time where she could spend time with her friends before she had to go off to separate schools. But instead while her friends were off hanging out with her friends, Jane Doe was busy playing 'Secret Games' that she had to play with Abuser 3 and those games can't be spoken about with other people and have to be kept to herself. How could it be repeating all over again, only with a different person.

He said the same thing as the guy before him, 'It has to be a secret or we'll both get in trouble. You don't want that, do you?'. Everytime iit happened he'd say the same thing. It didn't start out the same as the previous abuse, it started as just touching, then got worse.

Eventually Jane Doe got to high school and she had to hide it from her new friends and new teachers. Everyday felt like a struggle that got harder and harder with every breath she took. She made two amazing friends within the first few weeks of high school, we'll call them 'James' and 'Mary'. Abuser 3 was still continuing these 'Secret Games' with Jane Doe.

There was one day in her first year of high school where Jane Doe was wearing her school uniform jacket around her neck to hide a hickey from everyone. At some point during the day she must have turned her head too far and her jacket had slipped and her friends saw the hickey. They pestered her for the entire day to know who it was but Jane Doe refused, she had let it slip that it wasn't her boyfriend at the time, so she couldn't let them know who it was. She eventually gave up and told her friends a white lie, saying that she was messing around with a vacuum cleaner, and that's how she got the hickey.

In year 10/age 14–15/Freshman Year, she made a new group of friends, we'll call them 'John', 'Bob', 'Mia', and 'Abigail'. They became really close, almost inseparable. Jane Doe was still keeping her secret, Still no one knew, not even her friends.

The following year Jane Doe had a massive falling out with Mary and Abigail, which completely ended their friendship. Jane Doe was still self-harming but it had gotten so much worse after her friendship with Mary and Abigail ended, she was cutting barcodes into her wrists, thighs, stomach, and upper arm almost everyday. Yet somehow nobody had noticed. How had nobody noticed? She might at well of been screaming for help. Jane Doe had been put in the new english teacher's class, which is easily the best thing that had ever happened to her. Her teacher didn't know a thing about her but it was almost like she could see straight through her. Jane Doe was 15 at this time and it was still occasionally happening. She had had a little bit too much to drink and Abuser 3 decided it would be a good idea to take advantage of that fact. Luckily she was able to fight him off despite her drunken state.

Unfortunately, she wasn't always so lucky... One night that year she wasn't exactly conscious, and in her sleep she had felt something weird and started to stir. When she was finally able to open her eyes, she noticed that the weird feeling she had felt was the feeling her virginity being stolen. 

She had been sexually abused before, but nothing like this had ever happened to her, she didn't know what to do. No one had ever told her what you're meant to do if this happened, just that you should never put yourself in the position that there was a possibility that it could happen. 

After that night she was never the same, she just felt... numb. She never told anyone, she still hasn't.