The Writer's Heart

8

JESSIE BECAME fond of Gina in the week that they'd spent together. In only a few days, Jessie would be boarding a flight, and leaving Chicago for what had become indefinitely.

She wasn't thrilled to spend five days with her father under the same roof, but the sacrifice was for her mother's sake. Jessie's mother had always supported her no matter the circumstance. She couldn't say the same for her father. Though she loved him, she just couldn't be around him.

Jessie headed to the practice to say her farewell to everyone. She'd grown close to a few of the doctors at both the practice and hospital, and was sad to leave. She visited the hospital first, gave hugs to those who pulled her in for one, and smiles to those who didn't.

As she walked down the hallway towards Raina's office, she felt her heart pull towards the opposite direction. That was where Marilyn's office was located, and the feeling made her extremely uneasy, "you're glowing, Jessie." Raina pulled her into a hug, and placed a kiss on her cheek, "I'm going to miss you. Text me, okay? And don't forget to send pictures."

"Will do," Jessie talked to Raina for a bit, before Cara and Rachel joined in, as well. When Jessie was finally able to head over to Marilyn's office, she wasn't there.

"She's with a patient. Oh come on, give me a hug too," Brenda wrapped her arms around Jessie's petite figure in a delicate hug.

"I'll miss you too, Brenda," Jessie then noticed Marilyn walking towards them with a clipboard in her hand.

"Brenda, schedule an appointment for Josh Khan for early next week," Marilyn smiled and invited Jessie into her office. They sat down, and looked at each other for a few, seemingly quick, seconds, "next time I see you, another book will be added to your collection," Jessie opened her mouth to say something, but her train of thought got lost, "Jess?"

Jessie gulped and lifted her brows in acknowledgement, "hopefully, I'll be done with the book by then. And I'll miss you too, Doctor Isles."

Marilyn smirked, "I never said I'd miss you."

"You didn't have to," Jessie said softly. Jessie felt all the color drain from her face. Did she really say that?

"Have fun for the both of us. And if you're ever in search of a job, you know where to find me."

Jessie's embarrassment was covered up with a smile, "I might take you up on that someday."

Marilyn's breathing picked up, and she tried to take consistent breaths, "be good, and don't fuck it up."

Jessie laughed, "don't fuck up what exactly?" Jessie asked.

Marilyn shrugged, "whatever you wish to accomplish, Jess. I wish you the best.

"Thanks, Doctor Isles. It means a lot."

"I've got a surprise for you."

Jessie rose a brow. She'd never seen Marilyn smile so brightly before, and it made leaving that much harder. Marilyn grabbed something from her desk drawer, and lifted it so that Jessie could see. Jessie placed her hand over her chest and laughed, "pretzels? Has it become your favorite too?" Jessie asked.

Marilyn shrugged, as she opened the bag, "you've got me addicted, Jess."

Somehow, Jessie could sense that Marilyn was holding something back, but she was too, "it's salty ecstasy."

They both nodded, and Marilyn offered the bag to Jessie. They sat in silence, as they munched on the snack, glancing at each other ever so often. Jessie had a lot on her mind. There were many things that she wanted to ask Marilyn and tell her, but she wouldn't go there. It wasn't fair to the both of them. That's why she was leaving, and going to stay away for as long as she could. Distance made emotions weaken, right? Both would realize that it's quite the opposite.

WHEN JESSIE left the practice, it felt as though a piece of her was missing. She said her goodbyes to a few other friends, and when she was done with all of it, she buried herself under a pile of blankets until the next day.

Her babies were the only thing keeping her torn heart warm. Hapa and Tyrion managed to make her happy, but also irritated. They meowed for most of the morning, because they wanted her to feed them, but she just couldn't get herself up—all of her energy was drained.

When she finally gave in, and headed into the kitchen to grab a can of wet, cat food, she looked at the mess they'd made with the dry, cat food. God, I should just leave you two with a sitter while I'm gone. She wasn't sure why they couldn't make do with the food that they had, but also knew that she was the one who spoilt them.

Hapa jumped onto the kitchen island, and Tyrion rubbed against her leg, as she opened the can. As soon as she scooped it out into their bowls, they started eating. She sighed and rubbed Hapa's head with her fingers. There was no possible way that she'd survive without them, she knew that for sure.

"That's a good boy," Tyrion jumped onto the counter too. and rubbed his body against her side. She smiled and pulled him into her, "you're a good boy too, Ty Ty."

Jessie petted them for a while, before she decided that she should take a bath. After a good hour in the tub, where her skin became wrinkled to a prune, she got dressed for the day.

When she grabbed her phone and keys, she noticed a missed call from Gina. Inhaling a deep breath, and giving herself a few minutes to get her thoughts in order, she returned the call, "Jessie, I've been waiting on your call."

Jessie puffed out her cheeks, "yeah, sorry, I've been in bed all day."

Tyrion and Hapa rested lazily on the couch, looking through the window. Jessie smiled adoringly at her two felines, "that's okay. I was just thinking that you should come over later. I'm throwing Marilyn a surprise birthday party, and I know she'd want you to be there."

Jessie was confused. Why would Gina invite her? "I'm not sure if I can make it."

"We won't see you for what feels like forever. Stop by if you get a chance. I'll text you the address just in case, okay?"

Jessie nodded to herself, "I'll see. Thanks for the invite, Gina," Jessie walked out of her apartment quicker than her kittens could rush over to her to say their goodbyes. And those felines were quick on their feet.

Her brain was fuzzy, as she walked down the streets with her hands stuffed in her pockets, and her hood over her head. When she made it to her favorite coffee shop, she let out a sigh of relief. Jessie ordered her usual hot beverage, and grabbed a seat. The cafe was empty for an early afternoon, giving her time to get her thoughts in order. I'm pining over a married woman.

Jessie sipped from her cup, and leaned back. Her head ached, including her heart. Why was she giving herself pain? Why was she allowing herself to feel that way? Minutes felt like hours, and her thoughts were still confused. She didn't know what to do with her feelings and emotions. She wanted to cry, but she wouldn't. Jessie knew that she had no right to cry—to feel hurt. Who was she to be feeling that way? Marilyn was married. Marilyn was married to Gina—Doctor Gina Siller. Jessie couldn't compete with that. She was so out of her league by even thinking of Marilyn in such a way. Her parents raised her better than to be a concubine. And for sure, Marilyn didn't reciprocate those feelings, regardless. Why would she? But Jessie knew that she was just trying to talk herself out of it. She'd noticed Marilyn's comforting eyes, and hesitant flirting. She'd noticed the stares, and the moments of adoration. Of course she did. She wasn't oblivious. But she wouldn't let herself believe it. She couldn't.