three hearts in one home (l.s.)

24. Disappointment and drinks

The next few days go by fast, I stay at Louis’ two nights and read Jonah his goodnight story every evening. Jonah gives me a kiss on the cheek every night before I head back home and Louis and I talk every night, way too long and I really feel like I know him. It’s pretty much perfect really.

Until it isn’t anymore.

I don’t know what is different when I visit them on Friday afternoon, just coming by to read the story and talk to Louis for a bit.

I still have Louis' keys, when I wanted to give them back, he told me to keep them so I can come by whenever I want to.
That’s what I’ve been doing.

“Hi?”, I call when I enter and Jonah immediately runs towards me and wraps his arms around my legs. I pick him up and kiss him on top of his head once.
“Hi, darling. How’s it going?”

“Good”, he says, “Watching TV.” He then runs back to the living room after waving at me shyly.

I decide to head to the kitchen where Louis is sitting on one of the chairs, drinking tea from a big cup.

“Hey”, I say and lean in to kiss him but he seems distracted, tired. He looks exhausted. I don’t help him enough; I should be there for him more often.
“Hi.”

I sit down next to him on a chair. “Lou, J is watching a lot of Tv and I don’t-“

“Harry, just don’t.”

-and I don’t want to intrude but I could take him to the fair tomorrow so he gets outside for a bit.

“Not right now, okay? I just don’t have the energy to discuss this right now and I also am raising him by myself. I do not need your help with that, really.”

“Okay, sorry.”
“No”, he says, voice sounding distant, “It’s okay, just leave it. You can read his story; you took care of him when I was sick but I don’t need that anymore now.”

That kind of hurt. What if I wanted it, what if I loved it? What if they’re the most important persons in my life right now?
“Okay. Guess you don’t need me here then?”

I’m not sure if I’m overreacting, I don’t know if I should’ve been more chill, but his comment hurt.

He rolls his eyes what makes me even more mad. I wanted to do something nice with his son and all he does is snap at me like that.

“I would need you here, but I am raising Jonah by myself. I do not need your help with that, I can do it alone.”

He sounds angry, sad and tired at the same time. I don’t know if I should hug him or just punch him into his stomach.
“I don’t get you.”

“Of course you don’t, you don’t know me, you don’t know what this is like. You have no fucking clue so stop trying to understand what this is about.”

Okay, wow. So he apparently doesn’t even like me? Why would he talk to me like that, if he appreciated me even just a little?

“I’ll leave then, I don’t even know you. You’re probably right. Didn’t think you could be that unfair, thought I knew you better. Am I allowed to at least say goodbye to Jonah or am I intruding your privacy then?”

“Go ahead”, he says, not looking up.

I don’t know exactly why I have to hold back tears when I walk to the living room to press a kiss to Jonah’s forehead because I know we’ll be fine again.

“Bye, love, I’m sorry, I need to leave.”
“But the crocodile?”

“Tomorrow again. Daddy has to do it tonight, alright?”

I know we’ll make up because it’s us. It’s Harry and Louis and Louis and Harry and we work out.

~~~

Saturday passes slowly. I’m laying in bed, refusing to come out of my room because I don’t want them to ask questions, I don’t want to watch Niall laugh at texts from Amelia and I don’t want Liam and Zayn to be all cuddly and shy.

By eight in the evening, Niall comes storming into my room.
“Harry, you boring fuck, you either go and make up-“ He giggles “Or out with Louis or you come clubbing with us tonight.”

I roll my eyes at the stupid joke and wonder how he even found out I had a little fight with him, but I get up anyways.
“Yeah, let’s go out for once again.”

The music is extremely loud and I head straight to the bar, getting a shot with Niall and downing a cup of beer a little too fast before we head back to the crowd.

Me and Liam dance to that famous song from this even more famous boyband and it feels good, not worrying.

After some time, I’m exhausted so I head to the bar to get another cup before leaning against the counter to catch my breath.

When I head back to the crowd, I can’t find the others anymore so I stand there a little lost, all alone. I suddenly feel like going home again.

“Hey”, some unknown voice whispers into my ear.

I turn to my left to see some mid twenty man grinning at me. He has dark brown eyes and nearly black hair and smiles weirdly; it’s probably supposed to be flirting.

He’s dancing slowly, moving closer to me with every step he takes, still smiling. He’s good looking, yeah, but I wouldn’t take him home with me, never.

I don’t know when he got the signal that I wanted to kiss him, but when he moves closer, his eyes on my lips, I push him away just a little.

Me and Louis aren’t a thing yet but I’m pretty sure we could be soon, if our stupid argument calms down again, so I wouldn’t even consider this.

“What the fuck?”, he calls and I only now notice how drunk he sounds.

“’m not interested”, I mumble, really wanting to head back to our flat, “Search for someone else.”

He frowns, shaking his head. “Why’d you flirt with me, huh?”

His voice sounds a little aggressive now and I move a step away.

“I’m dating someone really amazing; I don’t need you and I certainly didn’t flirt. Now, fuck off.”

Felt pretty good to say that out loud. I’m dating someone, I’m dating someone, I’m dating someone.

I decide to head home. I’m a little tipsy but I realise I’m glad I didn’t get drunk. Not because of a stupid fight. I decide I want to visit them tomorrow. I miss Louis and Jonah.

When I’m home, I drop into bed without changing my clothes and for some time I think about how much I would’ve loved to say that I had a boyfriend instead of that I was dating someone.

~~~

a fightttt:(

do you understand Louis' side as well?