The captain and me

New beginnings

I meet Leah half way, she takes her headphones out and pulls me into a hug I can feel her shaking in my arms. I hold onto her for a couple minutes but I can't delay this anymore.
"Leah we need to talk so much has happened since this morning but I need to tell you something" I pull back but can't find it in me to look at her so pick a blade of grass  and focus on it.
"She kissed you didn't she?" I was not expecting that and it caused me to snap my head up and meet her eyes which were starting to look glassy with tears
"How?"
"When she saw the goal you scored she practically melted and I overheard her telling Chloe she was going kiss you when she saw you next"
"You knew Hempo was going to kiss me but you didn't say anything, didn't warn me?" The anger was building inside of me
"You're so oblivious to how everyone else sees you, I hear it from the press and the other girls, you're the nations shiny new toy and they all want you" her voice cracked with the last sentence. I tried to pull her into me but she pushed me away
"Please don't, I need to get this out"
"Get what out, I don't understand?"
"After you went in I heard Sarina telling the coach that she thinks you could be one of the best forwards in the game you just need to commit yourself and focus, she said that you have seemed distracted recently and is worried something is holding your attention"  or someone she didn't say it but I could see it on her face she doesn't want to be the reason to hold me back
"Leah as nice as that sounds coming from Sarina I don't want to be the best if it means giving up whatever might be going on between us"  she smiles at me as a tear rolls down her face. She raises her arm and cups my cheek
" I believe you and the fact you came to find me to tell me about the kiss proves I can trust you but that means that it has to be me that ends this" I can feel my eyes fill up and my chest tighten
"Is this about Jordan?" I had to know, this was all coming out of the blue and she was the only thing to change. Now it was her turn to stare at the grass. She takes a deep breath and let's it out before looking at me, something in her eyes had changed, hardened.
"Yes"  right I had my answer, this is why I don't let people in. I swallow the tears and let the anger take hold
"Fuck you Leah, I am better than being your rebound. You say I'm oblivious to how people see me well my eyes are wide open now"

I turn and walk away from her before she can see that I didn't do a good job swallowing the tears and now they are flowing freely down my face. I need to find somewhere I can be alone.

Leah's pov

I had to say it, had to hurt her, it was the only way she would accept us ending but watching y/n walk away I want to run to her, wrap her in my arms and never let go but I couldn't. She really could be the best, I was blown away by her in practice and hearing Lauren talk about her after made me want to shout that she's mine so everyone knew to back off. I could have stopped the kiss but I wanted to use it as an excuse, I should have known she would come find me to tell me, she's never given me any reason not to trust her.

I start walking back to the changing rooms it would be empty now so I would get to shower in private. I hear footsteps running towards me before I see Kiera round the corner with a frantic look in her eyes.
"Leah there you are, what's happened? I've just seen y/n and she said you needed me" fuck Leah don't cry of course she sends your best friend to check on you she's a good person
"I had to end it" she pulls me to a nearby bench and sits us down, she puts her hand on my leg and wait until I'm ready to tell her what happend
"Jordans here" she looks out into the distance and just nods slowly
"Yeah I saw her and Beth together, I thought you two were done?"
"We are and I told her as much earlier, I finally feel over her and ready to move on"
"Then why did you end it with y/n you've been acting like a lovesick teenager since your first kiss"
"I'm holding her back, she needs to spend time with the other girls make lasting friendships not be stuck with just me. It's her first major senior tournament and she can't be distracted"
"Did she tell you that's she's struggling to focus on football"
"No but she wouldn't so I had to do it" I put my head in my hands and let the tears come, Kiera had seen me cry more than anyone else and has never made me feel weak for doing so.  She gentle rubs circles on my back to let me know she's there.
"Leah you know I have your back 100% but I think you've fucked up here" not the words I was expecting to hear I sit back up and meet Kieras eyes
"What?"
"I think you've made the wrong choice, y/n isn't some naive little girl that is suddenly good at football she has worked at it everyday and managed to hold down relationships whilst still staying focused"
Yeah but n.."
"I wasn't finished, she has also managed to secure a starting position on the team without your help. She doesn't need you making these decisions for her"
"Wow Kiera are you sure it's my back you have?"
"It is which is why I'm the only one that can tell you when you're being an idiot. Lucy and I really like her and we like how happy she has made you. Don't forget. thin walls" she nudges her shoulder in to me
"I fucked up" ohh God what have I done I need to find y/n
" you think? Go find her you might be able to explain"
" Thank you" I give Kiera a quick hug and run inside, I run passed the rest of the team and head straight for our room.

When I get to the door I have a speech in my head but it mainly consists of im an idiot please forgive me. I take a deep breath and open the door
"Ohh hey roomie"
"Beth what are you doing here wheres y/n?"  Beth is unpacking her suitcase on y/ns side of the room I look around and notice all her stuff is gone
"She ran into me downstairs and asked if I would swap back, she looked very determined I couldn't say no"
"Shes changed rooms?"
"Yeah she packed in a hurry and said if there's anything she left could I drop it to her, did she finally realise how messy you are?" Beth tries to make a joke but I can see she knows something more is going on
"Yeah something like that"  I brush it off and head to the bathroom and lock the door behind me. I've really hurt her, I quickly unlock the door and poke my head out
"Beth where was y/n the last time you saw her?
"Erm I think she was heading towards the games room with Hempo they looked pretty cosy do you think she finally got up the courage to kiss her, shes been talking about it all week"  great I pushed her right into the arms of Lauren. I need to come up with a plan to earn her forgiveness
"Okay thank you" I close and lock the door, first I need to shower