The Spirit of the Corps » Band of Brothers

82: Job of Pretending

The patrol last night had left a German prisoner on the banks. His groaning and cries of pain were guttural and raw. If everyone wasn't angry at her, Charlie might have tried to get to him to see if there was anything she could do for his wounds, or else simply give him enough morphine to make him comfortable before he died. As it was, she knew she would be pushing her luck much too far to even try.

Turning a corner to head away from the riverbank where the German man was slowly dying, Charlie kept her head ducked and her hands in her pockets. She tried to concentrate on how to go about apologising for her actions last night, since she'd been so unsuccessful earlier, both with Henry and with Floyd, but she kept drawing blanks. She'd been stupid, she knew that much, but she couldn't understand why everyone seemed to be so furious with her for it. She'd expected annoyance and frustration, for not telling anyone more than for running away, but the complete animosity she'd come up against so far with everyone except Don had caught her off guard. Floyd had even shouted at her. Floyd had never shouted at her in his life, not even when she'd shouted at him. How could it be that she'd messed up that badly and didn't even know why?

Still, she would have to apologise like she did know why, pretend she fully grasped the weight of her actions and thus would never do it again.

But really. He'd shouted at her. He'd sworn at her. Had what she'd done really been that bad?

Charlie entered the field hospital to find Henry, Autumn, and Boo all gathered in the main room. The two surgeons were absent, as they tended to be when it wasn't absolutely necessary that they hang around.

Henry wore a blank stare as she turned to face Charlie.

"Before I grovel," Charlie began, "I thought you'd want to know that there's another patrol going out tonight. It's the same roster except Lieb's in for Jackson" - Autumn let out a hiss of air - "and there's a briefing in the CP at 1700 hours. That's all I know."

"How'd you find out?" Henry wondered, not sceptical, just curious.

"I was with Don when Winters told him to tell Second Platoon."

Henry dug the heels of her palms into her eyes. "Why they're sending out another patrol is beyond me. As far as I'm aware the prisoners from last night haven't even spoken."

Charlie chewed on her lip and looked away. There really was no logical explanation for it.

"That's all the news you have?" Henry asked, finally lowering her hands.

"Yeah."

"Then grovel."

Charlie barked a laugh, surprised, before slapping a hand over her mouth to cover it.

Henry was dead serious.

"Sorry," Charlie apologised for her laughter. "I don't think it's funny."

"No, neither do I," said Henry evenly.

Behind her, Autumn and Boo were studiously looking away, both pretending to be incredibly interested in the walls beside them.

"Okay," Charlie said, breathing in deeply to prepare herself for what she hoped would be an apology that met Henry's standards. "I'm very sorry for running away last night like I did. I understand now that it was reckless and dangerous and goes against a lot of military rules, and I can promise you I won't do it again. My only explanation for it is that I wasn't thinking straight. Some of the men were talking about how they thought I hadn't done enough for Jackson and I was blaming myself and I felt like I couldn't stay in the basement for a second longer. I didn't know where I was going, which is why I didn't tell anyone, but I also understand that that, too, was incredibly stupid of me. So, I won't do it again. And I'm sorry."