Seeing you again

Chapter 20

Ivan's POV

I had to get out of there. I just had to.

Today, these past few hours, minutes even have been hell.

Francisca and mom's husband ( technically my step dad I guess) were at dinner and apparently it was all good, it was all great. They were laughing with dad and Dan, they seemed to be really getting along. Dad and Dan seemed to be having the time of their freaking lives. The perfect little messed up 'family'.

Francisca tried talking to me. However, I just couldn't bare to hear her voice. I had longed to hear it for a long time but now all it brings me is pain. It's a reminder that she didn't choose us right away when we would've if the roles were reversed. In a freakin heart beat

She doesn't even live with us now for fuck's sake!

So I got out of there the first chance I got. I went to my room and slammed the door behind me.

Shortly after, Dan comes into my room, he swings the door open and slams it closed too.

He looks pissed off at me and I really don't want to hear it. Just because he accepted this messed up situation, just because he forgave our sister and pretends that nothing happened, doesn't mean that I can do that too. I can't.

"What is wrong with you?!" He shouts and I roll my eyes.

He doesn't get it, he just doesn't freaking get it. I can't just move on from the pain like he or dad can. I'm not like them.

All the shit Francisca did. I can't get past it, I wish I could, god I wish I could. But I'm so angry, angry at her, at mom, at her — our — step father, at this whole situation.

"You are breaking her heart, Ivan!" He shouts again and I wince. "She just wants to make things right, why in god's name aren't you letting her?! Why?!"

Okay now I'm pissed too.

"Why is everyone so concerned of her feelings and have no regard of mine huh?! " I yell.

"I didn't say that! That's not what I'm trying to tell you" Dan says but I cut him off.

"That's exactly what you're telling me! It sucks okay?! It fucking sucks that she left and didn't even try to come back to us! That when she did come back, she chose to hide! Why should I just forgive and forget!? Why is no one else upset about this?!"

"You think dad and I aren't upset?" Dan yells. "You think we just forgot that Fran wasn't in our life all of these years?! Yes, it does fucking suck ivan, it sucks that she didn't reach out, it sucks that she chose to live with a random guy we don't know instead of here with us. All of that fucking sucks!It makes both dad and I sad too! But she's back ivan, our sister is back. We used to dream of that remember? And now we've got it, we've got her. It's not perfect, but she's here right down stairs, crying because her big brother doesn't want to speak with her, she wants to talk to you and I know you do too. This isn't just about her, Ivan. It's about you too, your feelings, your life from here on out. Don't miss out on rekindling your relationship with her because of anger, don't waste any more time because enough has already been wasted".

And with that he walks out my bedroom door leaving me stunned.

I know- I know he's right. But I can't just shut off my feelings, I can't be okay with all of this, I just can't.

_______________

Francisca's POV

I've been trying to corner Ivan at school. Unsuccessfully so.

What happened at the dinner was...upsetting to say the least, it kind of discouraged me a little....okay a lot, it discouraged me a lot.

But Ivan has always been a bit more stubborn than Dan and I. So, I'm going to keep trying to win him back if it's the last thing that I do.