45. My Hesitating Heart

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For my tenth birthday, my mom let me have my birthday party at the bowling alley

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For my tenth birthday, my mom let me have my birthday party at the bowling alley. I remember she got me this whole matching pant suit thing. Navy blue pants and a hoodie lined with this sparkly strip down the arms and side of the legs. I had my brand new white Nikes I paired with the whole outfit. Of course the new kicks were replaced with red and tan standard bowling shoes, but I didn't care.

All my friends from school were there. We had pizza to stuff our faces until our bellies ached, and then we somehow made room for more once the cake came out. When we left, they gave me a pin with my name on it, and I thought it was the coolest thing. It sat displayed in my room for the entire year. I'm pretty sure I still have it tucked away in my closet.

I feel like bowling is ageless. No matter how young or old you are, there's still this thrill of excitement surging through you. The one that makes you a kid all over again. It's the exact feeling I have right now as we sit at one of the swivel chairs, our balls all strategically picked out and lined up on the ball return.

"Isn't it perfect?" Elise's voice comes dancing in front of me as her hand is stretched out. A thin silver band is wrapped around her ring finger, the petite diamond sparkling under the lights of the bowling alley. She's elated, truly filled to the brim in this contagious happiness. It's oozing all over the wood floor and sticking to each one of us as I smile back at her.

"I still can't believe you did that shit without telling me first," Gray leans over the buttons in front of him, half focused on typing our names onto the screen and half focused on giving his best friend a ridiculously adorable pout.

"It's a promise ring," Brandon clarifies.

It's the first thing Elise flashed in our face when we met them here, that same joyful smile lighting up her face. I can't say I completely understand the concept of a promise ring, the whole idea of promising forever without actually asking for forever. It's like a pre-engagement, I think. To be honest, I'm still sorting through the purpose of it. But regardless of my confusion, I'm truly happy for them. I mean, how can I not be? They're quite literally glowing with this radiating excitement, all full of smiles and twinkling eyes as they stare at one another.

"Which means when he pops the real question..." Elise eyes Brandon briefly before turning her attention to Gray. "I'm sure you'll be privy to knowing first," she smiles, pulling her hand back in front of her as she watches it sparkle.

"I better be. I've got some really great ideas for a grand gesture."

Elise drops her hand, her eyes growing mischievously playful. "Nobody wants a Grayson style, over the top, flashy, look at me, proposal," she laughs, giving him a knowing smile. The kind where she knows exactly how much she's bruising his ego at the moment.

He stops mid-type, his flare for the dramatics proving her point as his hand falls to his chest. "I am deeply offended, Elise. I thought you and I were friends."

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