chapter eighteen

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his knees fell on the ground immediately, along with his gun. billie had shot him in the shoulder, close enough to his heart to make a lot of damage, but far enough for him to still live, if he went to a hospital in the next like, 5 seconds.

-listen, you piece of shit. - she put the gun to his head. - i can take you to the hospital, where you will confess everything you did and say that you got this pretty bullet hole in your shoulder trying to kill yourself, or you can stay here and die. got it?

he tried to open his mouth but couldn't even talk.

she rolled her eyes.

-blink twice if we have a deal.

he struggled to obey, but he did; she pushed the barrel of the gun aggresively into his head one more time, a threat in her lips:

-if you mess with my girl or her family one more time your ass is good as DEAD.

she left him barely breathing on the floor and ran to me first thing. the shock from it all still had my body trembling, and i could tell her head was also spinning from what shed just done. she held me so tight, her eyes starting to water. she held me like her life depended on it. everything was scary. the adrenaline and the fear and the anger and the shock mixing together, giving us whiplash, making the whole world around us feel unstable and uncertain- but right there, in each others arms, it felt like home. it felt like the only safe place we could escape to.

-i cant believe you fucking saved my life.

-yeah, i cant believe i did that either. - she laughed with almost a bit of dispair in her voice. -shit. guess we're really tied together for good now, huh?

i smiled but then remembered we had a dying man right in front of us.

-billie, we need a story. - shit, shit, shit. we had to act fast before he actually died. - write his suicide note and make it look like he's confessing anything. also, i need my gun.

-what, you gonna shoot him again??

-not really. - i sighed, thinking it over again. its a good plan. i think. - hes just gonna get a taste of his own medicine.

i wiped billies fingerprints away, took all the bullets out and put the gun is his hands, finger on the trigger, just the way he did to my brother. i didnt even have to force him because, well, he couldnt move, so i could basically play him like a puppet doll.

-we're gonna tell the nurses that we found him and the note just so we can get him there. they probably wont ask too much cause they gon try to act as quick as possible, but when the case gets to the police there will be enough evidence for him to go straight to jail after he recovers.

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since matthew was literally dying, he didn't try any funny shit once we got to the hospital. maybe because he was scared of us, maybe cause he just couldnt speak, maybe a bit of both. i couldnt give less of a fuck as long as he didnt open his mouth. ugly ass, crusty musty ass white dude with an unwashed dick.

we told the nurses the whole thing and he was immediately taken to surgery. as predicted, they didnt ask anything and chose to just trust us and take care of him. better off in prison than in a coffin, i guess.

a part of me felt bad cause i was not that type of person. my dad taught me not to be. i didn't like hurting people, it wasnt in me, even when i knew i had to. but i had no time for guilt when the people i loved needed me, just as billie didnt think twice before shooting someone to protect me.

we went back to his place and called the cops from there, faked the whole suicide act, again. you couldve called it an oscar winning performance, because they bought it so fast it was almost ridiculous.

i mean, it fit the narrative, right? gang violence, drug deals, nothing new. sometimes i think pigs just want someone to arrest so they can get shit over with and put the most people in jail as possible; you give them a narrative, they'll buy it.

my brother got released that same night, right after. i went running to his arms outside the police station like a little kid and he lifted me from the ground with the biggest smile id ever seen on his face.

-youre insane for this, but i love you.

-what you mean? i didnt do anything, that was mattress! - i laughed, but we both knew i was lying.

-yeah, right. because mattress would totally try to commit to save my ass.

-youre not mad, are you?

i know i risked my life that day and i know i said i wouldnt do any dumb shit, but can you blame me? (no, you cant.)

he sighed and looked to the distance in silence, taking a few seconds.

-surprisingly, no. - he laughed. - i should be, but uhm... i wouldve done the same for you, so i cant be mad. plus, with everything you did for me today, i really cant be mad.

-well, good, cause im fucking awesome, so. - he rolled his eyes and i chuckled at myself. - but you know, billie did like, 90% of this whole thing. she shot him.

-no fucking way, billie shot matthew? nuh uh, youre kidding. i dont believe you.

-why not??

-i mean, they were together like a month ago.

-yeah, i mean... i guess her heart wasnt really in it. and if it was, the second i told her what he did to you, it wasnt. you should see the way her eyes burned, it was like there was a laser in them ready to fry his face.

-she really loves you, huh? - he smiled.

-yeah, i guess she does.

he put his arms around me like a proud brother and squeezed me.

-im really happy for you, bry.

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-this was the most exhausting day of my life. - i laughed through tears in the passenger seat in the car, diego in the driver's. - i... love you guys. beyond words.

they were both crying too, but they weren't sad tears. we were just... tired. it was so much shit that we could not even begin to process. the pain of thinking i had lost my brother. the fear of having a gun to my face. the shock of almost killing someone and then almost saving that same person who could potentially fuck everything up for us, again.

at that moment, i was just overflowing with love for two of the people who i cared about most in the world. and just so relieved that it was all over, and i could just let it all out, and come home.

-billie, you saved me today. but most of all, you saved bryana. i can't ever thank you enough. - diego fist bumped her with a tender, brotherly smile. - welcome to the family, hermanita.

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