'JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.'
In which an angel, a demon, and their adoptive daughter decide to stop Armageddon. Except it's days away, they've lost the antichrist, Heaven and Hell are both breathing down their necks, and th...
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Mistakes are made, babies are swapped, and an ineffable family has to start planning for the end times.
***
Shit, shit, shit. Crowley bit down hard on his tongue to keep the vicious swearing occurring in his head from escaping the realm of thoughts. He was not going to be the reason for yet another lecture about his five year old daughter swearing at preschool. Though, he still maintained that even if Freddie had picked up saying 'fuck' from him, the circumstances under which he said it in the first place were perfectly reasonable.
(He stubbed his toe and screamed it. Overdramatic Demon.)
Crowley was speeding. That wasn't unusual, of course. He always sped when he drove, even at times when he really shouldn't, like in the middle of London traffic, during rush hour. It was technically unsafe but always turned out okay, thanks to his Demonic powers. However, tonight, he wasn't speeding just for the fun of it. He was speeding because he was running late, running late to what had been deemed a very important rendezvous with representatives of Hell, no less. He didn't know what it was about, but it was definitely important, from what he had been told. There was no way he could miss out on this without serious and probably painful consequences.
Even worse, Freddie was spending the night at Crowley's apartment, not Aziraphale's bookshop, tonight. That wasn't a bad thing on principle; Crowley loved his daughter dearly, and always enjoyed spending time with her. But Freddie was also a secret, at least to Hell. The other Demons could not be allowed to know about his child. Unfortunately, Freddie was five and could not yet be left home alone, especially if this meeting ended up taking a long time. Crowley's regular babysitter was unavailable, and he hadn't had time to find another one. Aziraphale wasn't answering the phone at the bookshop, meaning he either went out to eat or he was on Angelic business. and either way he wouldn't be back in time to take their daughter for the night. So Crowley's hand had been forced. Now, in the back seat, sitting in the car-seat that his beloved Bentley had protested at first but eventually gotten used to, was Freddie, who was rather calm, considering her father's wild driving.
It was a foggy night. A stormy one would have been better, for aesthetic reasons, but the world doesn't work that way. Crowley floored the gas pedal, and turned down the music so he could speak to his daughter.
"Freddie?"
"Yes daddy?" Freddie asked.
Crowley turned to look at her, which would have been incredibly dangerous to do while driving if he was anyone else. "Remember, when I go talk to the other Demons, you have to stay in your car seat. No getting out of the car or climbing into the front to have a look. You stay still, and don't let the other Demons see you. Hopefully this will be quick and we can go home soon. Okay?"
