'JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.'
In which an angel, a demon, and their adoptive daughter decide to stop Armageddon. Except it's days away, they've lost the antichrist, Heaven and Hell are both breathing down their necks, and th...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Or: The mortifying ordeal of witnessing your parents have sexual tension.
***
They - or rather, Crowley - followed the same route that had been taken one night eleven years ago, and it lead them to a place called Tadfield Manor. All in all, the place didn't look particularly Satanic, nor did it appear hospital like - it looked like a regular business. Aziraphale in particular seemed skeptical.
"Um, are you sure this is the right place?" He asked. "It doesn't look like a hospital, and... it feels, loved."
"No, it's definitely the place," Crowley said. He paused, then- "What do you mean, loved?"
"Well, I mean the opposite of when you say I don't like this place, it feels spooky," Aziraphale clarified.
Loved - like the bookshop or the Bentley, for me, Freddie thought to herself.
Crowley frowned. "I don't ever say that. I like spooky. Big spooky fan, me. Let's go talk to some nuns."
They started up the path towards the door - well, Aziraphale and Freddie started up the path. Crowley, being a very wicked Demon, stepped on the grass. (Horrifying, isn't it?)
The trio hadn't gotten more than a few feet forward, however, when an earsplitting crack rang out and two blurs of color came flying at them. Aziraphale threw Freddie behind him, shielding her with his body and taking the blow. Crowley was nearly thrown backwards by the force of whatever hit him.
"Oh my God! Freddie cried out instinctively, seeing red bloom across her Dad's clothes.
Crowley winced. "Ah! Oh! Ngk!"
"Blue?" Aziraphale questioned. Freddie turned to see that there was a great blue stain blossoming across the back of his tartan coat. She let out a sigh of relief; no one was actually hurt.
"Oh, it's paint," Crowley said.
At that moment, a man dressed in protective clothing, carrying a paintball gun, came running up to them. He looked a mix of determined and irritated.
"Hey! You've both been hit! I don't know what you think your playing at right-"
Crowley shapeshifted his head into a serpentine form (oh sure, Freddie thought, he did it now but when she wanted him to do it for Halloween a few years back...) and screeched at the man. The paintball gun touting man let out a yelp of horror, before fainting dead away.
