Fantasia

VI

Falling asleep after that phone call was close to impossible, even with the heavy tiredness seeping out of every pore of Eddy's body.

Violin. Violin playing.

Eddy sighed, his head lying heavy on his cushion while he stared at the ceiling above his bed.

There had once been a time when he had almost been inseparable from his instrument. Back then, when his days had been more fun despite the difficulties of a teenage life, where the future had seemed to be wide open and bright in front of him.
Back then, when he spent almost every day with a certain someone. A person, to whom Eddy's violin playing had been linked to ever since they'd met.
Eddy suddenly felt a sting and couldn't help but wonder how that person was doing now...

He let out a breath again, turned around and tried to go back to sleep. His sister was right. Maybe he'd have more clarity after some additional few hours of rest. It wasn't long until his alarm would ring to remind him of his morning exercise anyway.

Needless to say, Eddy skipped jogging again this morning.

When he arrived at the office, he felt like he'd run headfirst into a brick wall which received cracks after its encounter with Eddy.

The pitiful glances Theo threw at him from time to time also didn't escape Eddy's attention.
"You alright? How did your doctor's appointment go?"
"Nothing conclusive yet. They call when they have the blood test results", Eddy yawned and took another big sip from his coffee.
"You look tired af!"
"No kidding!", Eddy retorted while scrolling through yet another set of numbers. At least they looked more stable today.
"Did you even sleep?"
"I did in fact. Now can I get back to work without your enlightening remarks?"
"Sorry, sorry", Theo mumbled and Eddy felt bad again.

Today, Eddy did leave the office later than Theo. In fact, later than anyone else, for that matter. It was dark, when Eddy dragged his heavy feet through the streets of Singapore. He got some take out from a Singaporean street food stall close to his place and went home with the firm resolution to crash out on the couch and not move an inch anymore this evening.

At least the fried noodles did Eddy well after only having eaten a sandwich for lunch. It warmed him from the inside and reminded him of his mother's cooking at home. Maybe he should call her more often like Belle had suggested... The dish also brought up happier parts of his childhood despite his free time being swallowed up by all the supplementary classes and violin lessons...

Speaking of which, he glanced at the brown leather case a few meters away from the way too big dining table, considering it was always him being the only one making use of it.

He wasn't even sure when he'd last touched that instrument. Since he'd started his studies in Economics and Statistics back in Queensland, there had been no time whatsoever for any sort of "distractions", as his mother would put it. She, who once had been keen on him attending every violin lesson.
"You already failed the medical school entrance exam! You simply can't continue playing the violin while doing your studies. It's useless anyway, now."
Yeah, useless. So Eddy'd stopped without even trying to protest, to protect what he loved to do, even though it tore his heart apart.

Because he had tried it before, fighting for what he really loved. And it hadn't ended well.

Was Belle right? Would playing it, or simply opening the violin case bring forth some sort of revelation? Would it bring him closer to the answer to this yearning he felt every time he entered the dream?

Eddy slowly put down the chopsticks while staring at the case and got up. Taking the few steps to that one corner took an eternity and when he picked up the case and laid it down on the coffee table, a storm of memories and all kinds of emotions overcame him. Excitement, anxiety, nervousness, longing...

He sat down and took a deep breath, trying to steady his irregular heartbeat.
"Well... here we go...", Eddy said outloud into the empty room.
Slowly, ever so slowly, he brought his right hand to the case, his fingertips grazing over the smooth and soft surface. Eddy gulped, before he placed both hands on the two metallic snap locks and let them spring open with a loud click.

He had done this a thousand times before and despite the familiarity, it felt like it was the first time. However, his fingers itched, the muscles seemingly moving of their own accord. Muscle memory...

Eddy opened the case - and there it was, just like he remembered.

His violin.

The wood had a nice, warm, red tone, the vanish shimmering in the half distant kitchen light despite a thin layer of dust enveloping the whole instrument, indicating it hadn't been played for quite some time. It's pegs were brown, so were it's tailpiece and the chinrest, giving it a kind of warm characteristic over all.

Eddy had gotten his instrument when he'd been eleven years old, barely big enough for a full size instrument. But he'd begged his parents, because his 3/4 one had been shit. And his parents had granted him his wish that one time.
And oh, how he'd loved it the moment he'd first taken it in his hands, had first felt the smooth, warm wood under his fingers and had first produced a sweet, clear tone by drawing his bow over the strings. It had been Eddy's companion since, and his passion.

Eddy sighed heavily and threw a glance at his clock, standing there on a small table next to his couch. Too late to take his violin out. His neighbors certainly wouldn't be happy about that.
Besides, he didn't even know if he was able to produce a decent tone in tune anymore.

One last look at his violin and Eddy closed the case.

Tomorrow. Maybe he'd have time tomorrow.