Almost Forgotten

Chapter 25: One Step Closer

I found peace in your violence.

I think my whole life rushes in front of me.

The beggining of existence that I can comprehand, me Micheal playing in the backyard with items which would led us into weeks long punishment if our parents ever found out. High school all troubles Caitlin had to pulls us out before mom had the chance to call the school.

We were as closes as all the brothers are.

Colleges were separated, even with the age difference somewhere as soon as he finished I began, so our paths crossed away once again, but the strings never teared.

Maybe when I started working foe the FBI was the breaking point where one phone call a day would turn into one a week, but at least that one was never skipped.

Then I went on two years undercover and I have not heard his or Cate's voice, the stupid jokes and stern words through the dreams are only thing that let me know they were someone at all.

It sounds worse than it is, we stilled talked frequently, those decades of us living under the sake roof and stealing the food the one left in the fridge only for me another to chase us around the house, never died. They just stilled in the place, not really moving forward.

I suppose I am to blame, maybe even after everything Caitlin was right. Maybe I should have told him everything that happened and swallow down the fear of being disappointed, but she couldn't get it. Not with being the child of succes of the family, not with everyone looking at him with such pride while I had to fought through blood and gore for a grattitude.

Maybe it wasn't that bad, I could be overreacting, our parents were as just as they could be, but the feeling in the back of the head never died.

Micheal was always the silver idol standing in the warm room with modest fireplace that was so comforting that you would not want to cut it.

I didn't want to cut through what we had, but the dread of it being inevitable never left my shadow.

Now, I repeat it once again, Caitlin was right.

I don't freeze this time, maybe at least play it by pretend as I stare at the keyboard on the phone, the past rushing through my head before I could even think of the future.

If he does this, what then? What after?

And I though I had a lot to think about before.

"Micheal." I slowly drag my hand through the air, so lift but the weight is barely letting me up as I tried to slowly stand, maybe show an action of calmness.

But he seems far from thinking calmly. He is scoffing, sitting up so fast that I don't even have a chance to catch a grasp of his thin shirt. He is steping back, shaking his head as he mutters. "Oh God, enough I don't want to hear any of your excuses."

I bite down on my tongue, feeling the blood drip from it. "Micheal listen to me, whatever you think you know, whatever she told you-"

"Oh, she told me what you never could." he announces with a light tone, voice sounding so sweet but the rest of factors can tell me just how pissed he is. "She told me you fell in love with a quite literal serial killer, a fucking gang leader, the same man who kidnapped you, Leah and her. Also-"

"It's not true." I plead, not even knowing why I try with the lies anymore. I am sick of them, so is everyone around me, just feeling overly done with my lies but I can stop them from coming.

But he is ignoring it, just continuing throwing accusations at me. "-that you planned into leaving everything you had here to join him, which would happen if Leah wasn't born."