The Birth of a Wishing Heart

4. A White Lie

Learning to read was much easier than Adiscordia thought it would be. It could have been all the street signs she read before but after a few months, and after many times having the scroll read to her, it was hers. The sun rose as she sat cross-legged on her mat and studied the scroll. She pulled it out each day just before she'd help her mother with breakfast.

If there was breakfast today.

This scroll was her only hope of safety in this life or the next. She knew the words.

"Don't lie."

"Don't hate."

"Don't disobey your elders."

"Don't steal."

The commands went on. She could recite them all by heart, but still, she couldn't leave the scroll behind. The small words of hope helped blind her from the truth. Her father was right. She didn't want to be grown. When she was in the forest she was hidden away from the horrors of life. Only a few months prior she dared to believe she could help her family.

Adiscordia bit her lip at the thought. Her fingers pressed harshly against the parchment, careful not to rip the instructions. A salty taste began to fill her mouth at the pain of her teeth biting down. She would need to take Grizelda to the marketplace today. She couldn't have her see the smoke. She was too young. With a hiss, she sucked on her lip intently before looking just above the sheet to see a pile of wrapped bodies.

Did they have to dump them right there next to the forest? Yes, it made for easy kindling, but they lived right there. When they started to smell it only reminded her where her family was headed. Starvation would kill them if the curse didn't.

Her shoulders tensed at the thought as her eyes shot back to the sheet. Her fingers trembled trying to stay stable. She didn't want her sister to wake up to her cries. Katherine and Nicholas had far too much work to worry about her as well. They had been taking turns eating because there wasn't enough for them all. The forest had been picked and it was far harder with only one going out to search. They had grown weak and thought she hadn't noticed.

Her sister hadn't. Grizelda was still burrowed into her sheets, sleeping peacefully. She envied her, in the kindest way. She didn't have to care, but simply live and play pretend with her doll. She could be blissfully blind to the world, but not Adiscordia. She was the elder sister. Her parents did their best to be as gentle as they could but this was the role the gods had given her. She would be that wishing heart.

Her stomach sent a piercing pain as she clenched her teeth. There was nothing she could do against the sickness but she knew the signs. She wished she had never witnessed the scene under the wrapped sheets. She took a deep breath and dug her nails into the ground. She scratched and dug small uneven holes into it. She would do anything to keep calm, as her father would be.

Her parents were doing the best they could, what else could she do? She was only a little girl. Her eyelids tightened against each other as tears helplessly fled down her cheeks onto the scroll. It wasn't fair. She dug her nails deeper as she turned away from her family. She needed to stay quiet.

"Amore mia..." Her mother whispered. Adiscordia looked up at her mother to find her holding her arms open. Her frown stretched into a light smile. Hastily she closed the scroll and tied it to the sash around her waist. She settled into her mother's lap and was led into a warm embrace. She wanted to crawl into a ball. She didn't want to keep waiting for it to happen. She pulled at her mother's shirt and felt her arms squeeze tighter around her. She felt Katherine's mouth open to speak before it shut back and buried her lips into her head.

After a while, the silence broke. "I'd like you to leave for the marketplace later with your sister. Your father is coming early and we'll be having a very important conversation. We need someone very responsible to help care for Grizelda, besides." Her hands pulled up Adiscordia's chin. "You both deserve to see better."