the first one • j. hughes

6

"I am not going golfing," I say for the millionth time in my life.

I don't have to look behind me to know Luke rolled his eyes at that. "You're such a sore loser and you haven't even lost yet."

"I'd like to keep it that way after the Golf Debacle of 2019."

We just got to the Reed lake house. The house smells glorious. Perfect, even. I love birthdays so much. Especially mine. Not just because I love a good excuse to be an attention whore (which I do), but it's the nostalgia. The history. Marking of time passing. Yet it's the same. It's like no matter how much time passes and things change, my birthday party stays the same. Other than Dad. That's what kind of sucks about my recent birthday parties.

"Wasn't that because Penn kept yelling during your backswing? Or was that the year before?" Jack asks as we enter the kitchen.

The kitchen where there is a shocking lack of people. Plenty of food litters the counters and stove and I think even the oven. The breakfast nook table is the best thing though. It's partly covered in bottles of alcohol. That I could legally drink come Wednesday. Life is good. Except, wait. No. Me and the Hughes boys are the only ones here.

I feel like I should have a welcoming committee.

"What a warm welcome," Quinn, apparently a mind reader, comments.

Luke shrugs and starts perusing the meat and cheese board on the end of the long kitchen island. Wow, what a great best friend I have. Oh well. I shrug and join him. Jack tries to join us on my other side but his reach is really inconvenient. By that I mean he has to reach right over my eyesight to get to the crackers.

"Do you fucking mind?"

"Kennedy Reed," Mom snaps.

There's the welcoming committee though! Trailing behind her is the rest of the guest list. Penn, Holly, her fiancé, Ellen, and finally Jimmy. I shove myself between the counter and Jack to get to his dad, giving him the biggest hug in existence.

"Where were you guys?" Quinn asks.

Penn smiles. "Nathan got this new car. We were checking it out."

I pull out of my hug and return to my spot between Luke and Jack. Across the counter is Holly's fiance, Brosie. Well, that's what he is to me. His actual name is Nathan Ambrose. He's like the dream of a son-in-law. He's respectful, well-off, and easy-going. He's also an absolute beast when there's no one he feels the need to impress. That's my brother-in-law, Brosie. What a guy.

Mom bustles around the stove. Checks the oven. Bustles around the stove. Checks the oven. Then, to switch it up goes into the fridge and pulls out a bowl of strawberries. Ellen takes no hesitation in reading her mind, taking it to a cutting board with other bowls of fruit surrounding it. It reminds me of Dad.

He used to do this thing when Mom bustled around the kitchen. So he did it a lot 'cause bustling is kind of her style. He'd follow behind her. If Mom was at the stove, he was next to her. Mom was at the sink? Dad's there. If she started going a little wild or lost in her train of thought, he'd remind her what she was doing or what she still needed to do.

Ouch. I'm surprised I don't actually wince at the pang of hurt that shocks through my chest, starting to stir up the gross feeling.

An arm slings around my shoulders, snapping me out. The snap in my head a warning shot to the rest of me. My chest and stomach relax. Jack's arm is the right amount of weight to ground me.

I tune into the main conversation. Mom's sighing while she checks the oven again and says, "I can't believe almost all my babies are all grown up."

My elbow goes into Luke's side jokingly. He smiles. I practically sink into the floor with how grounded I feel.

"I'm sure Jacky'll get there eventually," Quinn jokes.

Jack tries to protest. His hand goes from my shoulder to my mouth, stifling my laugh. He pulls me into his side so he's basically hugging my head. I manage to escape. Not entirely. I let him keep his arm around my shoulder and I might be standing closer than I was before.

"Don't know why you're laughing, Dee." Penn has a lopsided smile to go with his snarkiness. When he uses that nickname only he and Quinn can, I can't even pretend to be mad at him. I just laugh harder.

* * * * *

The parents have turned in. By that, I mean they've decided to take some wine and go to the sitting room in the master bedroom. They always act like they're going to bed for whatever reason. It's been years. They still tell that little lie.

We were all on the back deck. My hair's still a little wet from swimming after we had the cake. One layer lemon, one layer raspberry. Same as it's been since I was ten and couldn't decide between them. Holly's the one who suggested both.

She's standing next to me, watching Brosie and Jack set up the table for a game of beer pong. Quinn always says he finds it a little funny to see us standing next to each other. Not in a mean way. In the sense that it proves how different we are.

I get his point. I've got a few inches on her. I'm all legs where she's more balanced, maybe even considered to have a long torso. She keeps her hair short and styled while mine is long and usually untamed. Holls can stand still, cool and calm. I've never stood still in my life.

"I'm glad Montgomery didn't get to come to one of these."

There's another difference. She's never afraid to get to the point. Blunt. I have a habit of dancing around things. Soft blows. Not ones that make a person physically recoil like she just made me.

I shrug. "Me too."

"Never liked him," she says.

"Not me too."

"You and Jack seem alright." She pauses to take a sip of her drink. "Given the whole situation of your most recent ex practically banning you from seeing him."

"That's not what happened," I say. "I mean— I didn't let that happen."

"I know, Kens."

"He didn't even want to come to this. I invited him and he asked why I couldn't simply stay in New York for my birthday."

Holly hums. "Probably didn't want to be trapped in a house full of your family when he could be going out and cheating like the scumbag he is. Besides, means you get to spend the summer with your boys."

"He was never available to meet any of you." My stomach turns over a few times. "Would always have something else he had to do."

"If he wanted to, he would have."

"I know."

"You'll find someone who wants to," she says. I don't need to look at her to know she's smiling but I still do. "I know I did."

"Hey, Prez," Jack calls right as Holly starts to make her way to Brosie. "Ready to kick some ass?"

* * * * *

"Alright, Ken, this is all you," Luke says, standing to the side of the table.

There's one cup left in our game. Jack and I were demolishing them until we started choking. But we were at one cup. They're at three. I can do this. I can do this. I turn to Jack and hold out my pinkie. He wraps his around it, shaking it slightly.

"This one's for you, baby," I say. He drops my hand quickly, turning away from me.

I shake it off. You got this, Kennedy. All you. You were destined for this very win. The ball goes soaring through the air and I can barely register its landing spot before arms are wrapped around my waist, lifting me into the air. Spinning is in circles as Jack laughs.

He sets me down, hands going to my shoulders to shake me slightly as he says, "You're the best."

My face heats up and I can't say it's from the alcohol in my system.