twenty-two; humiliated

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I could barely sleep with the excitement of seeing Nate today, although when I wake up I have an unsettling wave of nerves inside my stomach. The thought of imposing on his private training session with his friends–for some reason it makes me feel alien.

After a cool shower, I attempt to push away the anxiety and focus on the day ahead.

Everything is going to be fine. I have a session with Layla later and I can pick apart why I'm feeling like this. Let her help me to understand what exactly is going on in this crazy brain of mine.

Today is pretty much a quiet day for everyone at the pack. Yesterday's training session with Reign went exceptionally well and I'm pleased I stepped up to help, even Everett was impressed and I'm becoming more skillful with the bow.

Soon I'll be on Reign's level. That was sarcasm.

I leave the house and walk to the location Nate sent me. I've never been here before but I remember him saying that they train away from their pack, I presume to get away from his father without him breathing down their necks.

When I think of Nate being an Alpha, despite his clear insecurities, he could be a good leader. He needs to grow with that confidence that I find so effortlessly sexy, he doesn't even know he uses it sometimes. It makes my core clench.

But I see myself in him sometimes–we both need to get out of our own heads for a couple of seconds. We both need to realise that overthinking can destroy everything but it's easier said than done and it's something I'm working towards with Layla.

Perfection doesn't even come with practice but it makes things more bearable.

I make my way to the field, spotting a group of people in the distance. My eyes scan the group before landing on Nate as he fights with Elin, both in their human forms. But I'm choking on air at the sight of Nate because he's fucking shirtless and has rippling abs that are dripping with sweat.

But to top it all off, his hair is half tied up with a hair band and tiny pieces of stands falling across his face. I almost topple over because I've never had the chance to see him like this. Goddamn.
He's so handsome and I have no idea what I did to deserve a fucking God.

I watch as he tackles Elin to the floor and they start wrestling, a smear of dirt across his chest and I'm not breathing. I stop walking because I can't control the amount of chemicals that have suddenly been released in my brain.

My wolf cries over and over and I can't ignore it.

Fuck. He's looking all stupidly sexy  and I'm standing here ogling him like a caveman.

After a moment Elin shoves Nate's shoulder playfully and they both stand up, dusting themselves down. Nate glances across the field and catches his eyes with mine and blood rushes to my cock within a second.

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