motherhood

Repressed memories

Callie knows that she's been dodging everyone's phone calls lately. After hearing about her grandpa's passing
Sent her over the edge since that night Callie hasn't had a peaceful night's sleep every time she would close her eyes
Callie would see his face so crystal clear haunting her in her the dreams, Callie feels somewhat relieves he's gone
Remembering the things he did when none was around
She never told another living soul of what happened to her. As a child growing up we're they would play the touching game, where he would finger her private parts
Telling Callie it was their secret so many times she wanted to tell her parents but he told her she would destroy the family with her lies. And Callie believe him, it went on for six years. By the time Callie began to get older the sexually abused stop completely, one time he got into bed with her
And made Callie preform oral sex on him. It made Callie feel dirty inside, Callie always remember what her mother use to say to tell her about a good touch and a bad touch
When Callie's baby sister Francesca came along she became afraid of the same thing happening to Frankie
Callie always felt Francesca was treated differently than she did. Once she was born, as time went on she started to isolate from her family coming up any excuse she could think of not to go events to avoid being in her grandfather presence. Her mother's didn't think nothing of their daughter's strange behavior, the day Callie left home for college. She vowed to never return of course tried to stay away but she made a promise to Francesca she'll be home
After three initial visits, her last visit was a horrible experience. Callie's grandfather walked in on her while she was showering, Callie never felt so exposed in all her life, every time she thinks about what he did it makes her feel sick to her stomach every time she would think of his filthy hands between her legs would make her skin crawl
He was always giving her money for no apparent reason
Callie would call it hush money to keep her quiet. If she told now none wouldn't believe it cause so many years past. So Callie kept the secret from everyone even the person she admired the most and looked up to, Callie's been self medicated her demons with drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. Recently Callie begin taking caffeine pills to stay awake at night, a friend of a friend gave her some pick me uppers to help her to get through the rough nights. Her friends were becoming concerned about her behavior change, Callie would hung out at all hours of the night. Going parties at the frat house every Friday and Saturday nights, she's surprised that she still manages to pass all of her classes. Callie had never a serious relationship with any of the guys on campus because her fear of intimacy of going on all the way made extremely uncomfortable, the holidays were slowly approaching
Callie has decided to go skiing with a group of friends who were staying back and not going home for the Thanksgiving break, she knows her parents will be disappointed that she wouldn't be coming home again