✨total and utter chaos✨ a criminal minds Chatfic

34

TW//: jokes abt DV and alcoholism. Protect ur peace ppl ❤️

|| hot whores 🥵🤙||

Emily: whoever the hell is playing Mariah Carey respectfully SHUT THE FUCK UP 🙂🔪🩸

Spencer: what's wrong with Mariah Carey?

JJ: I think she means she wants whoever is playing "all I want for Christmas is you" by Mariah Carey to shut up Spence

Derek: [replying to: whoever the hell is playing Mariah Carey SHUT THE FUCK UP 🙂🔪🩸] for once I'm agreeing with her

Derek: its October like- 🤚🏾😒

Emily: ^ EXACTLY ugh stfu!!!! 🙄

Penelope: ok yk is serious when chocolate thunder and the BAUs very own Wonder Woman are agreeing with each other 🫣🫢

Rossi: kiddos, what's going on?

JJ: someone's playing Christmas music and they don't like it

Spencer: I think since Lilly is watching everyone text and trying not to laugh, she's probably the one playing it.

Derek: way to sell out your (girl)friend pretty boy 🙄🙄

Emily: lils ily but for the love of god SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I WILL STUFF A TURKEY W/ UR HEAD 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🪦

Lilly: [replying to: I think since Lilly is watching everyone text...] fuck u Spence 🖕🖕🖕

Lilly: respectfully Ofc 🫶

Lilly: [replying to: lils ily but for the love of god SHUT THE FUCK UP...] GOBBLE GOBBLE BITCH 🖕🖕🖕🦃🦃🦃🦃🎄🎄🎄🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅

Emily: Im... okay then 😟

Derek: that's it? 🤨🤨🤨

Derek: if that was me ud hit me

Emily: yh but it's Lilly I can't hit her 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lilly: bitch- u saying I can't take u? Cause I can 👊💥

Emily: no I'm saying I respect u

Emily: don't hit ppl u respect kids 😌😌😌

Derek: ahem 🤨🤨🤨

Emily: what?

Derek: bitch

Emily: whore

Derek: snob

Emily: slut

Penelope: pls stop insulting each other :( 💔💔

Derek: only cz it's u bbg

Emily: fine 😒

JJ: Im bored

Derek: why? 🙄

JJ: cause I have nothing do baldie 🖕🏻

Lilly: ur gf is 5 ft away from u Iykwim 😉😏😏😏

Penelope: LILLY 😦😦

Emily: no she has a point

JJ: no

Spencer: [replying to: ur gf is 5 ft away from u ifykwim 😉😏😏😏😏] I don't get it...

Derek: I'll tell u when ur older pretty boy 🤣

Spencer: oh!....

Lilly: lol I broke him 🤭

Emily: I'm sure uve done that before lils 😏😏😏

Lilly: EW! 🤢🤢🤢🤢

Emily: u started it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lilly: die literally die

Emily: i did u cried remember? Lol

Derek: I- 💀💀💀

JJ: speechless 😶

Lilly: 🌈✨ trauma ✨🌈 (the sequel)

Lilly: [replying to: I- 💀💀💀] Emily I didn't know u have ur own emoji 🤔

Penelope: that's mean :'( 💔💔💔💔💔

Emily: [replying to: Emily I didn't know u have ur own emoji 🤔] it's cause I'm special 😌

JJ: u can say that again 🤭

Emily: BITCH- 🧍🏼‍♀️🥊

Lilly: um, no.

Derek: lils does NOT support domestic violence ❌😤

Spencer: oh, I wonder why /sar

Lilly: yh def doesn't have anything to do w/ the abusive alcoholic father and the twelve years of being bounced around the foster system 🤷‍♀️🤔

Spencer: [replying to: u can say that again 🤭] I don't get it....

JJ: ofc u don't

Derek: context clues, kid Context clues

Spencer: i still don't get it.

Lilly: nothing behind those genius eyes except facts and statistics 😭🫶❤️‍🩹

Spencer: :)

Lilly: HES SO CUTE ABXNAKLZKCJEJEBJFNJKSLSK

Emily: back to our usual scheduled program

Penelope: [replying to: i don't get it....] oh my sweet innocent boy wonder, JJ was calling em special, but not in the "I love u ur so special to me" kind of way 💖💖💖💖💖🫶🫶🫶🫶

Spencer: that's not nice

JJ: it was a joke spence

Lilly: if i just gave into my impulsive thoughts and cut myself some bangs in the bathroom but did it with my hunting knife and made them rlly not straight what wld y'all's reactions be?

Lilly: purely out of curiosity ofc ☺️

Emily: why would u use A KINFE???? 🤦🏻‍♀️

Lilly: I HAD NOTHING ELSE

Lilly: help me I look terrible 🥲

Derek: that's ur own fault- 💀🤚🏾

Spencer: I'm sure you don't look too bad Lilly :)

Penelope: aww Lilly honey come to my lair I have some scissors I can help fix it <3

JJ: I'll come help

Emily: and me 🏃🏻‍♀️💨💨💨

Lilly: penny ily forget Morgan marry me 💍💖

Hotch: Williams it's against protocol to carry a knife.

Derek: where did u come from? 🤨

Lilly: u didn't seem to mind all those times I used it to cut ppl out of binds and shit 😒

Emily: wait a min were permitted to carry guns around something that is arguably more deadly than a knife but not knives?? 🤨🤨🤨

Hotch: that's why I never say anything in the field.

Lilly: but u js- yk what, nvm I got some choppy ass bangs to deal w/ 🚶‍♀️

Rossi: how do I end up missing half this stuff?