Can't Take My Eyes Off You - Monika x Male Reader

Intimacy - Chapter 18

Intimacy was a concept that Y/N was quite familiar with. It was, unfortunately, something he became familiar with at an early age. Y/N never actively sought out intimacy beyond close friendships and maybe a girlfriend, but anything beyond was a world he was happy to wait for until he was an adult. It wasn't safe, it was new and strange, and it was for adults only. However, this wasn't the case with Y/N. Not at all.

The most integral part of intimacy, in Y/N's opinion, was who you were with. Flings and one-night-stands weren't love, it was lust, it was an outlet. The joy of it was that it was with someone you cared about, right?

Y/N's old school had a lot of people that desperately wanted to dive into this world. As Y/N was cursed with good looks, and held a 'bad boy' reputation, he was a target. That's exactly how it was, he was a target; Y/N never enjoyed the advances that people made on him, and they in fact made him rather uncomfortable, but to keep up appearances, and because he felt like he too should dip his toes into a more sexual world, he encouraged the behaviour. This, of course, was not the best move, as after a collection of various escapades that escalated in scale, along came Chichei.

Chichei was why Y/N was afraid of intimacy. She used him and forced him to use her. They were only 15. It was pushing legality, but she didn't much care. Who knew someone at such a young age could be so malicious? It may have been what she wanted, but it most certainly wasn't what he wanted. It was too fast, too early, too much. Not that she cared. Or asked.

Science was Periods 2 and 3, leaving Y/N ample time to recover from his encounter with Chichei in Period 1. Natsuki demanded to stay with him, brushing aside that she had a lesson and instead focusing on Y/N, which was both very in and out of character. Call him cruel, but Y/N felt as if Natsuki wouldn't make the best doctor. She'd probably punch you back into unconsciousness if you woke up too early.

Natsuki - "Sit down, anywhere you like."

Y/N did as told.

Natsuki - "Try to focus on your breathing a bit, okay? I'm gonna go grab you some water."

She rushed off into the corridor, leaving Y/N alone once more. His mind was starting to fully wrap around what had just happened; his abusive and manipulative ex-girlfriend had somehow followed him to his new school, cornered him in a safe space and forced herself on him the day after he confessed to Monika. The penny had to drop at some point, heavens forbid Y/N actually lived a happy and peaceful life. He couldn't even find anger within himself, just emptiness.

Somehow, he felt like this had been coming.

That day he had a panic attack, he was frightened of the past.

When Sayori stood in the doorway, it reminded him of how Chichei often cornered him.

The black eye, it was hauntingly ironic.

It was as if destiny itself was weaving a tapestry to pull Y/N and his past back together. Y/N and Chichei. An unstoppable force, and an immovable object. If push came to shove, he knew he would give out first. Just like last time.

Natsuki returned with a bottle of water in hand, chucking it to Y/N and sitting down next to him.

Natsuki - "Drink."

Y/N did as told. He tried to wash the taste of Chichei out of his mouth, but to no avail. She wouldn't leave.

Natsuki - "Alright... so, uh... how are you feeling?"

Y/N looked up shakily at Natsuki with a blunt stare, to which she smacked her lips and nodded while struggling to maintain eye contact.

Natsuki - "Dumb question, sorry."