Disney Paramount and Dreamworks Presents
Nickelodeon and Disney XD Productions
Penn and Lincoln's Adventures of Kung Fu Panda
A , with his identity hidden beneath a flowing robe and wide-brimmed hat, treks with his staff across a bridge above a huge lake.
Narrator Po: "Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose Kung fu skills were the stuff of legend. He traveled the land in search of worthy foes."
The warrior approaches a large tavern towering in front of him. A gang of bandits harassing the rabbit staff inside are startled when the warrior enters abruptly, and stare silently as he passes them and sits at a table. As he eats, the gang surrounds him.
Gang Boss: "I see you like to Chew. Maybe U should chew ON MY FIST! [Slams fist onto table.]"
Narrator Po: "The warrior said nothing for his mouth was full. [He holds up his paw.] Then he swallowed. [He swallows.] And then he spoke."
Legendary Warrior: Enough talk. Let's fight! SHA-SHA-BOOEY!
The warrior delivers a series of punches and kicks and the whole gang goes flying in various directions.
Narrator Po: "He was so deadly in fact that his enemies would go blind from overexposure to pure awesomeness!"
Ninja Cat: [blindly flailing about] "MY EYES!"
Gator: "HE'S TOO AWESOME!"
Smitten Bunny: "And attractive!"
Greatful Bunny: "How can we repay you?"
Legendary Warrior: "There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness."
One hundred assassins appear and surround the warrior. The entire bar swells, packed to the rafters with ninjas.
Legendary Warrior: "KABLOOEY!"
The roof explodes and the warrior with a cloud of ninjas erupts into the sky. Like a tornado, the warrior twists and kicks them away rapidly.
Narrator Po: "It mattered not how many foes he faced. They were no match for his bodacity."
Two groups of thousands of foes leap at the warrior while in the air, but with a single flashy move he sends them flying. The beaten warriors plummet into the lake like rain as the warrior treks back across the bridge.
Narrator Po "Never before had a panda been so feared... and so loved. [He looks up towards the Jade Palace, where a group of seventeen warriors stand in various poses.] Even the most heroic heroes in all of China, the Furious Thirty Three, bowed in respect to this great master."
The Thirty Three leap down from the palace, land in front of the warrior, and bow respectfully, before flanking in positions on both sides of him.
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Penn and Lincoln's Adventures of Kung Fu Panda
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