Penn and Lincoln's Adventures of Kung Fu Panda

Chapter 9

Night dissolves to dawn. Shifu sits under the peach tree with Oogway's staff, deep in thoughy. He has probably been siting there all night.

Voice: "[Faintly in the distance.] Yah! Hai!"

Shifu stirs, his ears prick as he hears kung fu noises in the distance. He goes to investigate, going to the place you would usually expect to see kung fu: the Training Hall. Shifu looks inside... it's empty. The noises continue from somewhere else... the bunkhouse. Inside the bunkhouse, as Shifu turns the corner, he sees Po's shadow as he performs some amazing kung fu.

Po: "Hai...yah! Wai-ya!"

Entering the kitchen, Shifu finds Po punching through a cupboard door with his bare fist, coming out with food and proceeding to stuff his face. Seeing Shifu, he stops mid-munch.] In silence they eye each other. Shifu surveys the room... broken lock, smashed doors, unhinged cabinets... the supposedly useless panda has completely trashed the kitchen. Po belches, bringing Shifu's attention back to them.

Papers use the Papers to Float

Fang Just Ripped the Kitchen Apart

Everyone Looked at Shifu

Po: "[Annoyed and with his mouth full.] What? I eat when I'm upset, okay?"

Shifu gets a glimmer in his eye. He has an idea.

Shifu: "Oh, no need to explain. I just thought you might be Monkey. He hides his almond cookies on the top shelf."

Shifu calmly exits and hides just outside the doorway, waiting to see if his hunch is correct. We see Po look to the shelf, smile, and sneak out of sight. KLUMP! KLONK! THUNK! Shifu rushes back inside and is amazed find Po perched atop the high shelves, jamming cookies from a jar into his mouth, his legs in a split. Shifu's disbelief turns into a wise smile. Po spots him and stops eating.

Po: "[Mouth full] Don't tell Monkey."

Shifu steps forward.

Papers: "Wh What"

Shifu: "Look at all of you..."

Penn: "Yeah, We know. We disgust you."

Shifu: "No no, I mean... how did you all get up there?"

Po: "I don't know. I guess I— I don't know. I was getting a cookie..."

He looks at the cookie and then can't help but eat it.

Shifu: "And yet all of you are ten feet off the ground... and have done a perfect split."

Sashi: "Us Perfect Split Wow That's Really Cool"

Po: "No, this... this is just an... [Po's eyes widen as he begins to slip.] accident."

WHOOMP! Po slips and crashes to the kitchen floor. A cookie rolls over to Shifu. He picks it up.

Shifu: "There are no accidents. Come with me."

Po picks himself up from the pile of pans and stares as Shifu walks off.]

High up in the Wudang Mountains, Shifu leads Everyone, who is weighed down with a large backpack and breathing hard, up a rocky path.

Boone: "[Panting] I know you're trying to be all mystical and kung fu-ey, but could you at least tell us where we're going?"

Shifu just continues walking. Later, Shifu is sitting on a rock in front of a still pool, morning mist partially obscuring the immeditate area. Winded and wheezing, Po staggers his way next to Shifu, collapses to the ground and discards the backpack. Shifu breathes in the morning mist, his eyes closed, as Po crawls towards the pool in disbelief.