Never Get to Heaven • cl16

011. COMMENTS

It was race day.

Jo had once again dragged me out of bed after a long, sleepless night filled with restless thoughts. I pulled myself up and started to get ready for the day, Jo nagging me every step of the way as usual. I think she secretly enjoyed it.

"Remember, we are going out tonight after the race." she chimed as she walked into the bathroom. I groaned. "And, no, you can't get out of it. We are going to have fun!" I groaned even louder; it was as if she had read my mind.

"I have nothing to wear!" I whined, looking for any excuse not to go. "Yes, you do; I packed something for you." She walked back in with a sly smile on her face. She pulled out a dress tucked away in my suitcase. I thought back to Jo helping me pack back in Monaco and cursed her in my head.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine." I huffed, pouting at her.

"Come on, then. The driver will be here soon." Jo cupped my cheek. "Are you feeling alright, little bee?" she questioned. Jo knew I hadn't really been sleeping, and we hadn't had a chance to talk about how I was doing since we arrived in Italy. I gave her a faint smile. "I'll be okay." I wasn't in the mood to talk about it all right now.

"We can catch up later." Her face softened. I nodded and got up to walk towards the door, grabbing my McLaren cap as we walked out.

Jo held my hand in the car on the way to the track. I could tell she was feeling nervous, but she'd never admit that to me. I still couldn't believe how attached she had become to Lando in such a short period. I felt a little jealous each time she gushed about him. I wanted to feel like that again. I wanted that excitement. I craved it. I used to have that look on my face. I used to feel the butterflies. Adam used to make me feel like that. Used to.

I tensed as I thought about returning to Monaco. I knew I was running away from everything by being here, and I would have to face up to everything at some point. I felt like a coward.

As we walked through the paddock towards the McLaren garage, Jo anxiously chatted away next to me. I zoned out as my eyes wandered over to the red garage.

Charles stood talking to one of the engineers. He seemed irritated, furrowed his brow, and aggressively waved his hands. I thought back to our conversation last night, his nerves, and the fact that he didn't feel confident. I continued to watch as he looked up and made eye contact with me; his face softened slightly. I averted my eyes quickly, embarrassment reaching my cheeks, and I stared at the ground.

Jo tugged on my arm. "Hey, are you even listening?" she asked, her eyes searching for what I was looking at. "Ah!" she nodded. "Charles." she gave me a look.

"What?" I snapped. Why do I feel the need to defend myself right now?

"Is there something more going on there? He definitely likes you." I stopped walking as I processed her words. I couldn't believe she would ask me something like that.

"No, Joanna? What do you even mean by that? He doesn't like me, I barely even know him!" I scoffed. Jo raised her eyebrows at me. "I—I have a boyfriend." I struggled to get my words out. Jo shook her head at my response.

"Of course, Bea. I'm sorry." She apologised, but I could tell she wasn't being sincere. "We can talk about it later. Let's have a good time today." Jo began walking away as I stood irritated by what she had said. Adam and I aren't on good terms, but he is still my boyfriend. I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet. Was I making it seem like something was going on with Charles? The anxious pit in my stomach returned as I thought about last night. My hand on Charles's shoulder, his hand brushing against mine outside the elevator, the secret glances and winks he gave me. I felt sick. Have I crossed a line?

By the time I reached the McLaren garage, Jo was already lost in conversation with Lando. I wasn't in the mood to join in anymore, so I stood near the back of the garage, sulking. I could feel the anxiety coursing through my body. None of my thoughts made any sense. My hands began to shake, and my vision blurred slightly. I could feel someone's presence next to me. It was Daniel. His smile dropped as he looked at my face.

"Hey, you okay?" He gently placed his hand on my shoulder. I gave him a slight nod, causing him to raise his eyebrows.

"Doesn't look like it, Bea, are you sure?" He held out his arms, inviting me in for a hug. I put my arms around him and forced myself not to cry into his shirt. Everything was so overwhelming. I was so tired. I felt the entire weight of the world on my shoulders.

As I tried to steady my breathing, Daniel gently wrapped his arms around me. The comforting scent of his aftershave immediately put me at ease, and I held onto him tightly. At that moment, he felt like the safest place in the world. I let out a deep sigh and felt all the tension in my body melt away as I relaxed into his embrace. I pulled away and looked up at him. He was grinning down at me, and I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"Thank you, Danny. I felt really overwhelmed for a second there." I whispered. His eyes softened as I said his name. "Of course, darling, anytime."

Darling.

"You can come find me any time you feel like that. I'll look after you." He winked at me as he ruffled my hair. There was such a warmth in his words. We stood smiling sweetly at each other for a few seconds, his hand still resting around my shoulder.

"You better be cheering me on today! Lando can't steal both beautiful girls in the garage!" He jabbed playfully. Was he flirting with me?

"Hey! I heard that!" Lando called out from further down the garage. Daniel and I began to laugh.

"Don't get too jealous!" I teased Lando, who was standing pouting next to Jo. She playfully rolled her eyes at him.

"That's my girl!" I paused as I heard the words. I looked back at Daniel who had his eyes fixed on me. He gave me another wink as he began to walk off towards his driver's room. He was definitely flirting, but maybe he just does that?

I turned to Jo who had her head cocked to the side, questioning Daniel's words. I shrugged back at her. I could tell she was thinking the exact same thing as me.

How is this day getting even more complicated?

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The cars began lining up on the starting grid. I moved my way back over to Jo. I was still annoyed at her comment from earlier but I knew she needed me to calm her nerves. I laced my fingers in between hers and squeezed.

And it's lights out and away we go!

My eyes flickered between both papaya McLarens as I forced myself not to focus on Charles's car.

Jo's words were ringing through my head. I wanted to be close to Charles, I enjoyed being around him. It felt like we were becoming friends. Was Jo right? Does he like me? Maybe I should distance myself and save myself the confusion and trouble.

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Sorry it's taken me so long to update! Felt a little bit lost with where I was going with this chapter I've rewritten it like 10 times

Also!!! Daniel👀