Damaged. (Zayn Malik) *Sequel to Dangerous*

Chaper Five.

“Welcome home,” I gave James a sweet smile while kissing him on the cheek. I found it difficult to kiss his lips now. I was scared that if I touched my lips to his the spark wouldn’t be there. Was the spark ever there? It had been close to five years after I kissed a man when I kissed James. Maybe I had forgotten what the spark felt like.

“To bad it’s not for long, I have to go back to Iowa tomorrow night,” James looked like he was trying so hard. Something was seriously going on with him, something I couldn’t put my finger on, but he had never traveled this much before. Why had his company all of a sudden need him so much.

“Well at least we have tonight, did you want to go see a movie, go golfing. Let’s go something,” James bit his lip and looked to the wall behind me where I knew a clock was. He looked back down to me and his blue eyes changed. James was no longer James. Maybe he had always been this James, I just hadn’t noticed because I had nothing to compare him too. Now I had Zayn.

“I can’t tonight doll, but I promise when I get back from Iowa next time, we will do something fun,” James gave me a tight lipped smile before patting my shoulder and walking up the stairs to our bedroom. When I heard the door close I was at loss for words. James had been gone for almost a week, leaving me here, not knowing what I had been doing to go to work. He thought everything was perfect.

“James?!” I called out holding onto the stair railing for irrelevant reasons. I waited to hear his reply but never did. So I just grabbed my jacket from the wall and left. If James wanted to talk to me he could call me, because I wasn’t going to be ignored the one night that he’s home.

******

I stared at the familiar door and knocked on it. I wasn’t sure why I was here, what was I planning to do. It was one thing to do this when James was out of the country, but the was literally ten minutes away and I was doing this. But the door flung open and I knew I wasn’t going to turn around.

“Well hello there,” Zayn brought his arm above his head and leaned into his doorway. I looked him up and down noticing he was not wearing a shirt, just basketball shorts and black ankle socks. I bit my lip before looking back up to meet his eyes, and his breath taking smile.

“I don’t know why I’m here,” I whispered. My voice cracked halfway through the sentence which made me sound so weak. I couldn’t make eye contact with him so I looked up to the ceiling, but Zayn’s hand grabbing my limp one made me snap back to him.

“Come in,” He whispered. His eyes begging me to enter his home. I bit my lip again and tried my hardest to reject him but I let him pull me into his house while I closed the door behind us. No Zayn and I hadn’t had sex, but the point was we fooled around. I’m engaged, in less than six months I would be walking down the isle. The truth was Zayn wouldn’t be at the end of the isle, James would be.

“Baby what’s wrong?” Zayn held me against his door. One arm holding onto my waist while the other whipped away tears I hadn’t given permission to fall. I shook my head and just stared at him.

This Zayn Malik was not the one I had met on the beach in high school. This Zayn Malik was one with feelings. He had limitations on what he would put up with, yeah. But he was no where near as angry as he used to be. He had emotions I had never seen him let out back then. He had love in his heart, something I didn’t believe he was capable of.

“He’s home,” I finally said looking up at him. He went stiff and looked away from me. His lip quivered and that broke my heart, I didn’t want to bother Zayn with this. I should have just stayed home and dealt with James on my own.

“How long is he here for?” Zayn’s voice was dark. Surely not dark like it used to be, but not light like it had been the last week. I couldn’t believe it had just been a week. It honestly made me feel like a slut. After nine years of never talking to him, in just a week I was making out with him in my house where I live with another man.

“Just tonight, he leaves tomorrow night.” I tried to get Zayn to calm himself. He wasn’t happy that James had come back. I don’t think either of us were. I loved James, I just wasn’t so sure that I could love him enough with Zayn around.

“Why are you with him Erin, you’re here the one night he’s home. Is that even love?” Zayn was getting angry, I could tell. So I stepped out from under his arm. I didn’t mean to upset him, but he didn’t need to act like this. He knew what he was getting into when he kissed me the second time. He knew I was engaged.

“You’re right. I have to go,-” I opened his flat door but looked over my shoulder. Zayn was shrugged and his eyes were kind of lifeless, but how could he act like this? I understand why he was upset, and he was right, I needed to get home to James.

“Goodbye Zayn,” I wasn’t sure if I meant goodbye for the night, or goodbye forever.

*********

“James?!” I closed the house door loudly to make it known I was home. But apparently James still hadn’t noticed. I pulled my coat off and hung it up on the wall. I looked around for any evidence of human life in my house, but even James’ shoes were gone.

“Hello?!” I jogged up my bedroom only to see the door open. I walked in slowly and a yellow piece of paper caught my eye on the pillow were James slept.

Erin,

The company called. I needed to leave in a hurry. I will be back in two weeks. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to call so don’t call okay? Love you xx

Angry I crumpled the paper and threw it at the wall. I stomped my foot but then collapsed onto the ground and broke out into tears. I hadn’t known that I was this depressed being with James until this moment. I had left Zayn in a fit of rage, and now this was what I came home too. James had just left.

Not sure of what to do anymore I picked up my phone and dialed the number 2 on my speed dial. When the ringing stopped and I was sure that someone had answered I didn’t wait to hear their voice. I just spoke through tears.

“Come over.” Then I hit the end button.