OMEGA (Under Rewrite)

Chapter 45 - This definitely wasn't part of the plan.

Chapter 45 – This definitely wasn't part of the plan.

Later that night, I sit on my bed in my room, watching Beck's reaction carefully as I've finally just fessed up about my relationship with Justin. Earlier, just after training ended, Beck disappeared as soon as David called an end to our meeting. Part of me is happy about that, as otherwise he would've witnessed the kiss between Justin and I, just as everyone else had. It wouldn't have been right, though, I knew I needed to tell him myself. I don't particularly care what anyone else thinks about the whole thing, but I do care about Beck.

"Yeah, I kind of figured," he mutters from where he sits on his makeshift bed on the floor, his eyes glued to the door opposite him.

A few seconds of silence pass and I can't help but ask the one question that's been on my mind since I first woke up this morning.

"Are we okay?" I ask, my voice quiet as I twist my hands together nervously.

"Honestly? I don't know," he sighs, running a hand through his hair and slumping back against the wall with a small thud, still not looking at me.

"Are you mad?" I then ask, unable to stop myself.

"No," he says, but I can't tell if he's being truthful. "No, I'm just-" he cuts off with another sigh. "Why him, Lucy? I would've preferred it to be literally anyone else."

"He's trying, Beck," I murmur, and it's true. If you looked at Justin a few months ago and then saw him now, you'd think he was a completely different person; he's changed so much already. It's the kind of change that the Pack needs.

"Yeah, whatever," he mumbles, shaking his head slightly and frowning.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, not knowing what else to say. This whole situation is just shit. Beck and I have never seemed more far apart and, the worst part is, I know it's my fault. What am I supposed to do, though? I love him, but not in the way he wants me to, and I can't change that. I only see him as a friend, I always have and I always will.

He, finally, looks over at me when he hears my apology, his frown softening slightly.

"Don't be," he replies with a small shrug, looking down at his hands now as they rest on his knees. "It's not your fault, I guess."

Yes it is, Beck. It's more my fault than it is yours, I just don't quite know how to fix it.

We fall silent for a few minutes, both lost in our own thoughts, before he speaks up again.

"Does he make you happy?"

"Yes," I reply almost immediately, completely meaning it. I can't deny it. Recently, I've been a lot happier than normal, and a lot of it is because of Justin. Since having him by my side, I've been a lot more confident in myself, not to mention much less worried about the rogues. We're back as a team, just like we were when we were little, and it makes me feel unstoppable.

He closes his eyes and nods his head slightly at my response, before opening them and looking at me again with a small smile. "Guess I can't complain too much, then."

"Beck," I whisper, tilting my head to the side slightly as I'm at a complete loss for words. For the first time since I've met him, Beck looks... sad, and it kills me to know that I'm the one responsible.

"I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy," he says, his smile still firmly in place but not reaching his eyes, and I feel tears stinging the back of my eyes.

"Beck, I-" I start, my voice wobbling slightly from emotion, but I don't know what to say. I'm sorry? I've already said that. I wish things were different? I do, but it doesn't feel like the right thing to tell him. "You deserve to be happy, too," I eventually tell him, meaning it with all of my heart. Why do things have to be so complicated?