Black Diaries

16. P-Day

"Err... isn't that a bit too boring?"

Jill stepped back, and regarded me critically. I was dressed in a black shirt, black skirt, and brown knit pullover that I had mistakenly thought was black when I bought it, but which the fashion expert Jill informed me was in fact a shade of brown known as "bister."

"Too boring?" Jill scoffed. "Are you kidding? Cassy, you're going to meet your boyfriend's parents! You're supposed to look boring. That's how they know you're not a call girl or a serial killer."

"Really?" I asked, eagerly. "Can we make me a bit more boring, please?"

"Now you're talking! Try this on!"

She started plastering me in more clothes, until I looked like a rejuvenated version of my granny. I wanted to appear non-serialkilleresque, but I had to admit, as things progressed, I got less and less confident in my new look.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" I asked, hesitantly, turning from left to right and gazing at 1950's school teacher outfit in the mirror. "I mean... This isn't really me."

Jill rolled her eyes. "That's the point, girlfriend! Or do you want them to run screaming?"

"Thank you so much for your compliment."

"You're welcome. So, you'll wear the outfit?"

"Wait just a minute. I have to get a second opinion first."

Jill's eyebrows rose. "Second opinion? Who... oh." She cut off as I strode over to Lucky, and picked my favorite miniature house tiger up. "Of course."

"Well, sweetie ?" I purred, gently stroking her fur, looking deep into her green eyes. "What do you think of mommy's outfit? Tell me, honestly. Don't be gentle."

Lucky eyed me, thoughtfully, tilting her head from side to side. Finally, she opened her maul—and spit a half-chewed mouse onto my blouse.

"Yuck!" Jill sprang back, holding up her hands to shield herself.

I took a deep breath, making a mental note never ever again to use the words "don't be gentle" in Lucky's presence.

"I think my outfit just got vetoed," I said.

In the end, I ended up in comfy dark blue jeans (without fashionable holes), black platform boots to make me at least a little taller, and a black lace top. Not the kind you wear to the bedroom, you understand—I just like it frilly around the edges. My ears were adorned by a pair of simple silver studs , and my hair, thank God, didn't require much work in its newly shortened state.

Jill stood beside me, staring into the mirror with a half-respectful, half-pitiful expression on her face.

"Cassy... Are you sure you want to meet Chuck's parents like that?"

"What's wrong with me?" I asked, just a little peeved. All right, maybe I look a little quirky, but it's the kickass kind of quirky.

"Do you want the list?"

"Ha, ha, ha." Spreading my arms, I turned to Lucky. "What do you think? And no mouse-vomiting, please!"

Lucky inspected me closely, prowling around me like a predator out on the hunt. When she appeared in front of me again, her tail twitched in a approving manner.

"Meow!"

"She likes it. That's good enough for me," I decided.

"You're going to take your cat's fashion advice over mine?" Jill demanded.

"Well, unlike her, you won't pee on the carpet if I don't do what you say."

"Point taken."

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