Morph [EDITING] || Wattys 2017 Winner

~FORTY SEVEN~

~amelie~

One day after Amber's death, we are all in shock.

Thirteen rebels lost their lives in the fight, including Amber and Ryan. Amber's death was the signal for the end of the battle - when we came back into the base, and everyone saw her body and our tear-streaked, desperate faces, they knew it was over. The superhumans on Roman's side were all overpowered, and they're currently locked in the various medical rooms until we figure out what to do with them. The events that happened in the battle seem like a surreal dream, or more accurately a nightmare - the girl I killed, Dad's close call, Amber's death. Nothing seems quite real in the days that follow, and all I can feel is disconnection.

Three days after Amber's death, a funeral is held for her. Everyone who can attends, except Lila, Hunter and I. Amber was never one for speeches or formality, and she would hate the clean, sombre memorial service that's been set up for her. So, while everybody is listening to pretty, pre-prepared speeches about her, we're remembering her through our memories, huddled together on the floor of an empty medical room, laughing and weeping at the same time.

"She was the first person I saw when I came here," I say quietly, recalling the vivid orange eyes that greeted me when I woke up. "And the first I ever showed my ability to."
Lila laughs slightly through her tears. "She used to tease me about my hair. She always said orange was a better colour."
Hunter adds, "Lila, do you remember the time with the wall?" His words start fresh tears rolling down Lila's cheeks, but she's smiling as he turns to me and says, "The first time we ever went through the wall to the outside, we decided to go through all together, holding hands. She managed to miss the intangible section and walk right into an actual bit of physical wall."

We spend several hours together, thinking about her, talking about her, immortalising her face forever in our minds. It's the most emotional hours I've ever experienced, and by the time they've passed I'm sobbing quietly into Hunter's shoulder, my grief overtaking me. I haven't dealt with any of the deaths of people close to me - not Cade, not my mother, and now all my emotions are spilling out in a tidal wave of tears. But, finally, I feel a small sense of closure, and peace, that I can finally let go of some of the guilt and grief I feel over their deaths.

Later that day, Ryan has a memorial service. Unlike Amber's, there's a lack of people attending. Most of them only knew him as the person who betrayed us. But Lila, Hunter and I all go, and so does my sister. When she told me what had happened in the battle, that he died saving her, I didn't know what to feel. I still don't, but I have to pay my respects to him. He saved me before, even though he changed so drastically later, and I owe Sophia's life to him too. His funeral is smaller and shorter than Amber's, and Elian breaks down in the middle of giving a speech for his son. It goes by in a blur, in a mess of confused emotion, and I barely remember most of it.

Four days after Amber's death, I start practicing with my steel abilities - investigating in what exact ways I can shift, if I can still change shape in steel, which kinds of damage I can withstand in steel form. In the combat cell next to me, I hear Dad using his own powers. Since he managed to avoid exploding on the day of Amber's death, he seems to have gained some control over his abilities, and I know he wants to hone his energy so he can never lose that control again. Halfway through my practice, as I'm trying unsuccessfully to change just one of my fingers to steel, seeing how precise I can be, Hunter comes in.

"Hey," he says softly, and I look up from what I'm doing.
"Hi," I say, and there's a beat of silence.
Hunter makes a beckoning motion, and tells me, "Come on. I'll tell you on the way."

Frowning as he turns, I follow him out of the cell. I glance to my left, and see that the room Dad was in is empty. We walk in silence for a few seconds.