t w e n t y f o u r: ✔

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Twenty four:

I spent the next few hours reading Michael's book on Wattpad and talking to @_screamer.

For the first time yet, Michael's words from the other night had completely registered into my head.

People are never the way they seem to be, right?

I had thought he was talking strictly about his feelings and emotions, and how he actually carried feelings underneath his enormous build-up walls of arrogance.

How wrong had I been.

After reading through the first two chapters of Michael's book, I started to come closer and closer to that realization.

He had been referring to something much more than that.

He had been referring to his life.

My finger left invisible traces onto the phone screen as I scrolled through the black and white words of his story. However, what I read was everything but black and white.

The main character, seventeen-year-old Jack Haden, was living some sort of double life.

His parents were divorced and he was living with his mother, but she was not around much, since she had a full-time job abroad. So, it was his aunt who took most of the care of the house and Jack.

Because of the lack of affection he was receiving from his parents, Jack's centre of human socialization relocated to the school grounds.

High school was his relaxing place. All of his friends were there, and so most of the fun took place there, too. He was popular, so that was pretty understandable.

By the time I had reached the next paragraph, my heart was pounding. I started to feel self conscious. I felt as if I was intruding his intimacy... Almost like I was reading his diary.

That was stupid. I knew that. His book was published on a public website, of course. It was meant to be read.

But still, something told me to stop. That annoyingly persistent feeling lingered into my stomach, accentuating my dread.

It was as if me keeping on reading would result into the most terrible discovery ever.

It was silly. A silly fear.

Plus, maybe not everything that was written in there was true. Jack might've still had some traits that  were the result of fiction. Maybe Michael's parent's weren't Jack's parents. Nor all the things that happened to Jack also happened to Michael.

The book was put under the Teen Fiction genre for a reason, after all, right?

I shook my head, already starting to confuse myself with my over thinking.

I drew a shaky breath and kept reading.

Of course, high school wasn't all that sweet at first for me. Fitting in was tough. Especially for someone who didn't have it good with their self esteem.

But what people didn't understand is that attitude is what really makes you the way you are. I woke up everyday feeling like a basic turd, but held my head high on the high school hallways.

I can't say I've ever been at peace with myself. Not entirely, the very least. I've always had something to complain about myself. Hair, sweaty palms, that occasional red spot that ruined probably the only picture I took of myself...

So you get it. I didn't exactly feel like Adonis all the time. And that's exactly my point.

I got to the place where I couldn't stand that. How I would wake up everyday with my confidence buried underneath the ground with no apparent reason.

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