Memoirs of a Sith Lord

I Only Murdered Five Children

Time passed. The Jedi prison was stable for a long time. I weakened. Bits of the energy which bound my spirit together slowly leaked away. Each day I wondered whether the Jedi would let me whither away or give me a merciful termination. I imagined them summoning me to judgment. What would I say? There is no one I haven't betrayed. Not the Emperor, not the Jedi, not Padmé, and certainly not my son, Luke. The idea of looking into his eyes filled me with dread. He was, after all, the one who saw good in me. He thought he'd saved me, that my place within the afterlife was secure.

Peace is a lie, my son. Don't let the Jedi teach you otherwise.

In time, the prison faded a third time. I found myself in the new Jedi Temple before the Jedi Masters. My judgment, I thought. I couldn't decide whether I was relieved or disappointed by Luke's absence.

Around me, I saw all the races of the Empire--excuse me, New Republic. I'm sure the Trade Federation will prosper under the new, more "enlightened" system.

My spiritual body was bound with the same inexplicable chains of energy as before. It felt as if hands reached up from below to drag me down. I resisted, but the agony they caused was considerable. Not only did they bind, they tore at my very substance. Progress in the knowledge of the force made great strides since Master Qui-Gon's death. The Jedi have become truly powerful.

Along with the living, I saw the ghosts of the old masters--Yoda, and Obi-Wan among them. All of these luminaries stood with arms extended, concentrating with the effort of meditation and directing the Force.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan, said. His voice is just above a whisper, as if he was afraid to be heard.

"Lord Vader, if you please!" I wanted some dignity, even in my destruction.

"Lord Vader, then. I have felt such a terrible disturbance in the Force--and I am told there is a new Sith coven on Tatooine, and that its members name you as their master. How is that possible?"

I laughed. They were so ignorant. For a moment, I considered not telling them, but taunting them with their failure was too rich a prize to resist. "The younglings, the ones you yourself were training as Jedi, now serve the Dark Side."

Obi-Wan looked puzzled. The senile old codger. "But you killed them, I saw the holograms--"

"Did you watch the whole recording?" I asked. It was a rhetorical question, I knew he hadn't.

"No, but I saw you kill several of them."

"Five. I only murdered five children. I spared the rest."

The beginnings of comprehension dawned on his face. "But--" he sputtered. "But--Why?"

These people. I don't know why Luke worked with them. "Luke told you he felt good in me. Do you think if I was wholly on the side of evil I could have killed all those children?"

Ghostly Obi-Wan scratched his head. He still didn't get it.

"Look," I told him. "In the end, I resisted the Emperor, threw him into the generator. Did you think it was the first time I opposed his will?"

"Yes?" Obi-Wan said.

"It wasn't. No one has ever been able to confine or control me for long." I paused to let them think about that and worry what I might still do despite their chains and prisons.

My words were greeted by absolute silence. After a suitable wait, I continued. "Because of the power of the Dark Side I could not resist my master to his face. So I decided to kill five then knock the rest unconscious by using the Force to constrict their breathing. Then I arranged for Padmé to put them on a freighter out of Coruscant. She set a detonator when she left to cover our tracks."

"Padmé?" Obi-Wan said, his eyes were nearly as wide as a Gungans.

"Yes. She told me to make sure I stood near one of the cameras so that everyone would believe I'd obeyed my master. It worked. The Emperor himself never knew the truth."

"Padmé?" Obi-Wan said again and rubbed his face with his hands. Honestly, the man looked like a senile idiot. I wondered how he had accomplished anything.

"Yes, Padmé. Are you deaf? She arranged homes for all the younglings. However, we underestimated the Hutts. They found out what we were doing, learned that children gifted by the Force were available for adoption, and they posed as loving parents. Over a dozen of those we saved wound up serving in the gambling dens of Tatooine."

"And then you came back and taught them the ways of the Force?"

"Using the Dark Side I spoke to them, taught them, and aided them when they overthrew their masters. You were right, Obi-Wan. Death did make you more powerful, and it worked for me as well."

A spasm of pain wracked my body and I howled. I was thrown back to my prison, but as soon as I was free of the pain, I laughed. I guess they didn't like my answers.

"May the Dark Side take you all," I said.