I quickly shake my head, which he raises an eye brow to but doesn't question.
He straightens up, never removing his gaze from me before stepping closer, forcing me to step back. He takes another and again, I step away. Seth keeps approaching me, hi...
"It's not the goodbyes that hurt, its the flashbacks that follow..." ― Gray Fullbuster, Fairy Tail
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I read over the words again for the hundredth time, trying to absorb every word, imaging her voice saying the words in my mind, memorizing every slope and dot on the page. It was beginning to look rather worn and crumpled from being folded and unfolded repeatedly.
I was sitting curled up in my sanctuary in the woods, I had skipped school today. I had been walking to school, every intention of going to try and concentrate on my work, but I stopped short not far from the gates. I could feel the folded paper in my pocket, my hand curled round it. Chewing my bottom lip, I couldn't do it. Everything felt too much. Tuesday with Ally being an ass, finding Jasper – which I still didn't know how I felt about – the meeting with the humanist, Nate turning up, looking almost as bad as I felt. Before we left, Mrs. Hawthorn stopped the both of us, handing us sealed letters. She explained that they were found in a box on her desk. She handed Nate a second one, though I didn't see who it was addressed to. Then she handed me one to pass along to Deen. That had been awkward, handing him a letter from Faith. I didn't stay to see what she wrote, I also never asked. It took me a full day myself to work up the courage to open mine. I had cried while reading it, even when I thought I had no more tears to shed they seemed like an endless stream.
Feeling completely overwhelmed, I had turned and practically ran straight here, crawling into my hole and curling up, crying into my knees. Some time had passed before I had wiped my eyes, looking about.
Looking down at my letter again I decided to read through it once again.
* * * * * * * * * *
To my beautiful best friend,
And yes, I am talking to you, Willow! If you're reading this, then I guess my plan went as intended, and I really just felt like I needed to write to you. I can't imagine how you'll be right now, and I'm ashamed, but, I had to do it. And I am sorry, Wills, so so terribly sorry. I can't imagine how hurt, or betrayed you must feel.
But I need you to know, I do love you. Even now, wherever I am, I love you, my only true friend. You've helped me through so much, even if you didn't know it. Through all the bad boyfriends, drunken mistakes, even through our childhood issues like what was happening on our favourite TV shows, and over who would marry our crush, what's-his-name from 'A series of unfortunate event' or agreeing to take Ron Weasley while I got Harry Potter. God, we were such dorks!
Anyway, you have always been there since I moved here. I remember when we met. You were sad, and I asked what was wrong. You told me you missed your big brother, and showed me a photo that you kept with you. That summer, we met up lots to play, and you told me stories about the adventures you would get up to with your brother before he left. But then, you didn't show up one day, or the next. I was worried that you were sick. I found you a day later sitting in the park, you were covered with scrapes and bruises. You told me you had an accident, who was I to question? When I asked about Jasper, I remember the look you gave me as you asked 'Who?'
