Belong - an adopted by Hamilton fanfic [Hamilton]

39. To talk: it out

As I'd finally calmed down, I couldn't help but be utterly thankful that we were this early at the Theater.
People wouldn't start to drop in until in an hour or so.
But Thayne. Thayne.
I wasn't prepared.
Tap the sofa.
"Oh, you found the PlayStation?", Lin suspiciously asked me, but soon giving Thayne, who seemed to look worried, a raised eyebrow, who was still standing in the doorway.
I'd worried him.
Thayne looked as innocent as a puppy who had done something very naughty.
Lin laughed, but as he did his phone started to ring. He sighed.
Mouthing a 'you alright?' to me, I nodded, so he wouldn't be worried. I didn't wanna be in the way, not a single more second of today. A mission that would be failed.
"Look after her", he whispered to Thayne, who nodded.

Lin walked out, greeting the person on the phone with a 'Hello, hello, hello!', per usual.

Thayne didn't ask me about the recent incident, and in fear of him wondering for the rest of his life, I began to speak while he was changing the game.
"Sorry. Um", I panicked. He was sat next to me on the couch I'd woken up on a few months ago, where I'd first met Vanessa & Lin. When everything changed.
"I have severe OCD", and so easily, the word was out. He looked at me with kind eyes, nodding. "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder", I mumbled, staring at my lap where my hands where frantically fidgeting from the nervous situation.
"Please don't see me differently", I whispered, my breath shaking.
This nerve wrecking day got more and more scarier, and all I wanted was that last sentence.
Blink until it feels just right or Lin will die.
I did.
"Ey, small one, you're still Rue", he said smoothly.
He laid his arm around my shoulder, giggling.
"But I'm still going to beat you at Call of Duty!", he laughed, snatching the console from the table. I rolled my eyes, standing and sprinting to get the other PlayStation console which was on Jonathan's desk.
By seconds I had jumped to the couch, scaring Thayne to a quick laugh when I made it right in time to when the game began and I made something very clear.
"Never!"

Apparently Thayne is unbeatable at CoD. So, in one of his sessions of winning which he made rather clear by dancing a victory dance, I filmed it. Nevertheless, the fandom appreciated it.

I must've fallen asleep right after Lin got back, because when I came back into consciousness people were running around in the theater and Lin doing vocal warmups with Jon.
A bit confused, I stretched a bit as I quickly sat up. My blanket would slip off, which I easily caught and wrapped it around me as the cold environment hit me.
"Hi", I said, smiling while I did a big yawn. Lin turned his head to me, brightly beaming. "What'd I miss?", I questioned, as I had no assumption of time whatsoever.
"Well. You missed lunch. I saved you a portion, don't you worry", Lin spoke, quickly reassuring me about that. "It's 3 pm. You want lunch?", he asked me.
My head hurt. God, how I hated being sick.
You're in the way of him working, tap the cushion 23 times and he won't be annoyed.
"Not really, but thanks", I quickly said. "I'm not that hungry", I immediately explained my statement, even though it was a full on lie.
Lin rolled his eyes, gently placing a neat paper bag next to me from a near café.
"You are. Eat", he demanded, finishing off with a grin.
I awkwardly smiled, looking down at my lap as I took my first bite of the sandwich the bag had consisted of, when Lin went back to joking around with Jonathan.
"He's like that to everyone", Jonathan told me, giggling as he put his hand through his kind of curly hair. I giggled, just because it was so Lin.
"If I have an extra coffee, someone's gon' get it", Lin said, shrugging his shoulders.
"You've bought the whole cast coffee multiple times, you overprotective cinnamon roll. Special orders and everything", Jon said, nodding towards Lin while laughing.
"Everybody needs a coffee every now & then!", Lin protested. "Not you tho, Niñita, you early bird", he said, hair flicking to point at me.
I laughed, jokingly reaching for the to go coffee cup practically standing next to me.
"E.T. Coffee. Now", I said as he snatched it away from me. I wrapped the white blanket around me like it originally was in the 80's movie.
"E.T. Coffee. No", Lin replied, sticking his tongue out while he barely was able to hold that crack of a laugh inside.
"I don't even like coffee, Lin. Groff can have it", I said, taking another bite of the sandwich. Jon gave Lin the puppy eyes.
"Nope. It's mine", he said, downing the espresso and suddenly beginning to cough from the sudden move.
Did you really tap enough? Do it til's it perfect.
Stressed, I did that as I began to take the blanket of off me while giggling at the coffee addicted man that Lin potentially was. Is.
I tapped a bit more.
It wasn't as bad today, though.
It was amazing how I could think about it as it. It. A thing. I awasn't afraid of it anymore. Afraid of confronting it, as I slowly, slowly would feel it fade away.
Not quickly.
Slowly, but steady.
But could I ever stop tapping?
I doubt that.
Tap your thigh.
"Hold up! I need a pic!", Lin's voice cut my thought cycle off, making me stay still & wrapped up in the blanket.
He effortlessly took a pic in a matter of a millisecond, as I would freeze for a moment, still giggling away, not really bothering to look into the camera - yet, I never could escape the thoughts for long.
Freeze for 4 more seconds, just to be sure it'll all be alright.