It's Becoming Crystal Clear (Jasper x Reader)

Chapter 16: Crystal Clear

Trigger warning: Contemplation of suicide

The rest of the day was a bit of a blur. Daniel was taken to hospital as a precautionary measure. You and Jasper had a LOT to explain to the police, though fortunately they believed you. You drove home with Jasper after getting a call that repairs were completed. At home, you thought you'd relax with a bit of television. It was still on the news, and Jasper became once again suspicious that she was being parodied when the anchor reported that the xenophobic orange human was now suspected of massive corruption. Deciding you didn't feel like explaining at the moment, you changed the channel. Steven Universe was on, but the episode was "Earthlings." You quickly shut the TV off and instead read to her from one of your favourite books. You prepared and ate your favourite meal with her. Some time later, you both retired to your beds after sharing a goodnight kiss. You listened to music for an hour or so to help calm your nerves before you fell asleep.

At some point during the night, you woke to the sound of movement. There were several thumping and rustling noises. You opened your eyes to find Jasper's arms wrapped protectively around you as she lay beside you. You turned over and snuggled up to her.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," you whispered in the darkness before going back to sleep.

You woke up to the sound of your alarm clock. Now that your car was fixed, you could get back to work. You noticed that you felt a bit chilly. Jasper wasn't next to you anymore. You tiptoed across the hall to her room, opening the door as quietly as you could to avoid waking her. This proved unnecessary, as she wasn't in there. You went downstairs.

"Jasper?" you called. No answer. Your heart rate sped up a bit. She wasn't on the couch or in the kitchen. You began running around to every room, upstairs, downstair, in the basement, even in the attic. Not a sign of her. You considered that she might be outside. The front door was unlocked.

"Calm down," you said aloud to yourself. "She's fine, she can definitely handle herself, she must've gone out and just forgotten to leave a note." Although the evil amethyst did say that something was coming for her...

You felt an odd prickling on the back of your neck. You turned and saw that the computer was turned on, although the monitor was off. You walked over and turned it back on with a trembling finger. There were two programs open: the web browser, and, minimized, a text document. The webpage open was one of those websites which illegally uploads entire animated series. Already knowing what you were going to find, you checked the browser history. She had been watching several episodes of Steven Universe, notably those she'd appeared in.

You brought up the text document, and it felt like your heart stopped. She'd left a note. And not the kind anyone wants to find. Your eyes couldn't focus to read it properly. They had that glazed quality like when you're struggling to stay awake, maybe because you couldn't accept that this was real, that this wasn't just a nightmare. "all the pain I've caused" "abuser" "corrupted" "all for nothing" "put you in danger" "failed in everything" "It's been too long" "I wish I could love you, but I don't even know how" (that one particularly hurt to read) "for the good of everyone" "I'm sorry" "You'd have to learn to live without me anyway. Goodbye."

The words seemed to float as random snippets around the screen and around inside your head. Your heart was pounding out of your chest, and you were dizzy nearly to the point of collapse. You didn't know how long ago she'd left, only that you had to get there in time. That you might already be too late was something you forbade yourself even to consider. Still in your pyjamas, still with morning breath, messy hair, and no shoes, without even locking the door behind you, you ran out to your car, leapt in, started it without fastening your seatbelt (which of course was completely uncharacteristic of you), and floored the accelerator. You knew exactly where she was. The last episode she'd watched was "Bismuth."