Love on the Scale

Chapter Nineteen

I had always been a sort of dappling dreamer, trying to convince my shadow that I was someone worth following. For as long as I could remember, I was always dreaming of some vague fame or fortune, philanthropy, somehow doing my bit of good in the world. I liked the thought of becoming an asset to others, but, being the introverted girl, it was hard to offer myself up.

My introversion was the result of growing up in a household that made a point of reminding me that I'd never be more than just an emotionally unstable girl, ugly, unnecessary. In hindsight, leaving the roost was my only survivable option; me, a rotting fruit unable to survive further poisoning from the family tree. Thank heaven for James. Our small flat was the nicest place I'd ever been in: friendly, forgiving, neat.

Neil. So many times I had fought the words, "he deserves so much better than me", but his unfailing presence had helped secure in me a deep desire to grow into the girl I saw in his eyes. He was saving me.

Ugly, others said, but he had kissed me, adored me, illuminated me anyway. Something sat on the periphery of my consciousness. I was about to bloom, spread my fragile wings.

It had to start somewhere, my life. I was eighteen; enthusiastic. I finally had sent in my completed outfit for the National Amateur's fashion competition, but that had also spurred a fury of more designs. I was surrounded by so much creative energy, how could I not thrive. And Maggie had come back to me; her mind no longer on marbles, focusing still less on the curious lights she had spoken of. That was a relief. Maggie was another silent strength for me.

Maycn was a worry. She was up to no good, her food far too attractive, titillating; her eyes constantly devouring my Neil. I had tried to patch things up with her, but she kept making me feel edgy. I asked if we could start anew, forget the past, try work it all out and move on. But I had gotten to the point of realizing I had already done too much, salvaging our wreck. The only next possible step was to stop. Leave her alone. Walk in the other direction when I saw her coming. It wasn't like I was giving up on her, it was just that I had to draw a line of determination out of mere desperation. Our paths were now only held together by the finest thread of family.

"The Mist is coming in today."

Maggie was speaking to me.

"The mist, Maggie?" I waited for the sanity to depart.

"Yeah, it's a type of new cloth, satin-silk blend, extremely light and durable, almost an elastic. Easy to work into these petty alterations we struggle on every day. Will save us a bundle of time and less finger-stabbing." I smiled. She continued, "Company has invested a lot of money into the Wardrobe this season. We're making a profit... Lilian has signed a large packet of new magazine contracts. Oh, and by the way, you're getting a raise, and I've asked that you be placed on permanent staff from next month."

Lunchtime had my head burning with new ideas. I was taking off! My notepad never left my side, I had nine new designs and was getting ready to pluck up the guts to introduce them someone influential in the fashion world. To these brave pieces of mine. They were different. They were ever bit me.

"These are fantastic, Chris! Every day I seem to unwrap another layer in your personality." Neil was stuffing a marshmallow into his mouth, paging through my notepad. "We need to get these to the cutting desk on the third floor. I have someone there that owes me a favor."

"What!" I exclaimed, scared for my art, my children, "These are primary sketches. They are NOWHERE near ready."

He didn't hear me. My notepad was gone, kidnapped. Neil was out the door and in the elevator before I could get off my luncheon chair.

"Neil!" I screamed after him.

"Oh. Sorry about that. He's left you already. I can't say I didn't warn him that you were as cold as a brick in December." It was Maycn, the poisonous witch.

"Aren't you supposed to be dishing up the food for the vultures?"

"Oooooh, look at you, Warrior Woman. So loud, so brash to your precious sister who has never treated you a day wrong."

I sighed. It was time to leave.

"Don't forget to give him my number." Maycn screamed after me. I was out the door before I could turn back and break her nose. I was beginning to feel a heat writhing inside me; it spelled trouble for any standing in my way.