Dear Past, You Suck!

Love's Letters

        I could see my breath in the carriage it was so cold. The seat was cold where I wasn't sitting. Reaching under the seat I pulled out the thin wool blanket stashed under the seat. If I had known it was going to be this cold I would have brought a jacket- or the 18th century version of that. I shook out the blanket and pull the moth-eaten blanket up to my neck. Without a clock in here 10 minutes could have passed or an hour, all I know is we were not in the city. Country side rolled past, snow falling harder and faster. I laid back onto the stiff seat, putting my legs up on the wall. I watched the heavy flakes of snow blow past the window. If it wasn't so bumpy, cold, and the seat so hard, I would enjoy this quiet time alone. I probably get less than half an hour alone in an average day. Now I have a few hours to do nothing but to spend time with no one but myself. But what can I do?

I adjust my body so I am lying on my side. I stare at the ground underneath the seat on the other side of the carriage. I'm bored already. I guess I am used to others at the estate to keep me entertained. I wish I had at least brought a book for the ride.

I drift in and out of sleep caused by boredom until we finally arrive back home. Margaret rushed outside before our carriage could even stop. She must have seen the carriage approaching from the road. In her dinner dress she pulled it up to her ankles, running through the freshly fallen snow in her stockings. She opens the door before the driver had a chance to even get down from his perch outside.

"Margaret what are you doing?!" I stammer.

"Beth I have been dreadfully bored while you were gone-"

"I was gone two days..."

"-but while you were gone a few letters arrived for you. You will never guess who they are from!"

"Perhaps my husband?"

She looked disheartened, "Oh I suppose it was not that difficult."

We began walking back to the house, "Why are you out here without shoes anyway. Do you not think it's a bit...improper?"

She laughed, "It very much is! But mostly everyone except the butler and cooks are gone. Your mother insisted that they take a week off before Christmas-"

"With pay?" I asked shocked at the generosity of my mother. I did not think she was the giving type.

But Margaret laughed again, "Of course not! They are each getting a Christmas Box, to give them time off with payment as well would be absurd. I think the Christmas Boxes are a ridiculous notion in and of themselves! To give our servants gifts for doing their jobs!"

"We certainly have the money though." I said as I shake my out my cloak and hang it on a rack beside the front door.

"That is besides the point. Anyways Duchess Hemerton is out for the day hand delivering invitations to the Christmas and welcome home party she is throwing in a few days."

We walk into the sitting room where a fire was roaring in the fireplace, giving the room a comforting glow in the failing light. "Oh who's is coming back?" I asked trying to keep the little flicker of hope in me smothered.

"Your father! Is that not exciting?!"

"Oh, yes I suppose," and that little flicker of hope goes out leaving me feeling cold on the inside. "So when is the party happening?"

"Four days from now, on Saturday. But you will have copious amounts of time to think about the event, right now you must read the letters!" Margaret reaches into a silver box sitting on a side table and pulls out two envelopes. She hands them to me, my heart beating faster.