The Brothers Kim

Chapter 21- Where I Belong

The first time Subin ever watched 'Peter Pan' was when she was six years old. After watching the film, Subin was convinced that the likes of fairies and pirates and mermaids were real. She had often believed that one day, Peter would visit her room at night and whisk her away to Neverland and she would soar high above London, past Big Ben, St. Paul's Cathedral and even, Buckingham Palace.

Subin truly believed that Peter would teach her how to fly.

So, when she flew on a plane for the first time, she was excited to think that she might somehow fly past Neverland in the process.

"Yoongi, can you see Neverland?" she remembered her six-year-old-self ask.

Yoongi scowled at her from the window seat. He had been napping before his little sister had shaken him awake just to ask a silly question. "No, of course not" he snapped. He was always cranky after waking up. "Neverland doesn't exist, stupid."

"Yes, it does!" she insisted. "Peter says it's the second star to the right and—"

"—Straight on till morning" Yoongi finished. "Yeah, yeah, I've seen the film, Subin. And Neverland isn't real. We're going to South Korea, not Neverland." He turned to face the window and refused to talk to her again throughout the whole flight.

Subin was disappointed to hear Yoongi dismiss Neverland so easily. She knew they were going to South Korea, but she didn't really care. The only place she cared about was Neverland.

And when Subin and her family finally arrived in South Korea, instead of feeling excited, she was shocked. South Korea was nothing at all like how she'd imagined.

Raised in England, Subin had become accustomed to being surrounded by people of different ethnicities. In her class, she had made friends with children that were tall, short, dark-skinned, fair-skinned, skinny and chubby. She had friends who were originally from India, Hong Kong, Philippines, Poland and the Caribbean: almost every country you could think of, someone in her class was probably once from there.

Subin had grown up in a diverse society and was proud to say that she was the representative for Korea in her class. It had made her feel important, irreplaceable, exotic. But when she visited South Korea for the first time, that sense of individuality suddenly evaporated into thin air. She wasn't unique anymore. She was just one amongst a million.

"Are you excited, Subin-ah?" her dad had asked her as they climbed into a taxi. "You're going to meet your grandma for the first time."

Subin, still recovering from seeing so many Koreans, was sceptical. She gaped up at her dad. "What if she doesn't like me?"

"Why wouldn't she like you?" her dad questioned. "You're her granddaughter so of course, she'll like you!"

"But, dad, I can't speak Korean" Subin fussed. She looked up at him doubtfully, "Will she be able to understand me? Can she speak English?"

Her dad just gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Subin-ah. Everything will be okay."

And her dad was right.

When she finally met her grandma, she was surprised to discover how friendly she was.

"Subin-ah, my dear" she would coo every time Subin appeared in front of her. "Are you hungry? Do you want to eat?" Her grandma would peer at her with honeyed eyes as she spoke endearingly in Korean. Thankfully, Yoongi was always there to translate.